To-do List

Well, realizing that we could be leaving in as few as 29 days to pick up our daughter has motivated me to get moving on my to-do list for trip #2. Of course, we might not be leaving for 69 more days, but since we'll likely have less than two weeks notice, I can't really wait to tackle this list until we get our notice!

Today I made and ordered a photo album for Kayla's birth mother. A huge part of the reason that we chose to adopt from Ethiopia is that it is possible to meet the birth parent. As long as she shows up, which most birth parents do, we will be able to meet her during our 2nd trip. It has been recommended that we bring photos of our daughter to share with her. While it is possible that she won't even recognize the healthy, nearly one year old baby girl in the photos (compared to the very sick 2 month old she relinquished), I want her to have these photos so that she can see how well Kayla is doing. So, I put together an album with around 45 pictures of Kayla--mostly from our first visit.

My hope is that the book brings joy to her mother, though I'm sure some sadness will accompany the joy. There are photos of us holding Kayla. I hope that those bring her peace in knowing that her little girl is loved, but I am sure that part of her will wish it was her holding her baby in the photos.

Meeting my own birth mother was something that I always knew that I wanted to do when I felt I was ready. I was about 20 when I felt ready and I was as ready as any adopted child could be for that type of meeting. I was finally able to find my birth mother when I was 22 and meeting her answered a lot of questions that I had. Of course, it also opened a kind of Pandora's box that could never again be sealed, but it hasn't been all bad. I was able to thank her for giving me up for adoption and that was my real goal. I was saddened to learn that she didn't feel that she did this for me, but rather out of selfishness, but I still think she did it for me, too--whether she can admit that or not--so that I could have a better life and I am so grateful for that. I also got to see her face and experience a little bit of her personality and yes, I got some of my looks and some of my personality from her. Meeting her was like finding that last puzzle piece that you need to complete the picture.

I don't know what the likelihood is that Kayla will ever have the opportunity to meet her birth mother, if she wants to. So, I realize that I may be the only link between my daughter and her birth mother and I want to make sure that I thank her birth mother for the sacrifice that she is making. I also want to make sure that I ask her some questions that I think Kayla will want answers to. Whether or not she answers is up to her, but at least I will be able to honestly tell my daughter that I tried. I also want photos of her birth mother, so that Kayla can see her face one day and know who it is that she looks like. If you've never had to wonder, you have no idea how much that can matter to a child.

I hope that her birth mother leaves our meeting with a feeling of peace that her baby girl will be loved and cherished by Chris and me. There are many other things that I hope for this meeting, but I don't even know how to put them into words, so I'll leave it at this for now.

Tomorrow, I'm tackling that drawer full of clothes, some with price tags still on, that I've been avoiding for a long time. I am not real sure what size she'll be in, especially since we don't really know when we're going, but I have a variety, so I need to get it washed and figure out what I want to take with us.

Did you catch that we could be leaving in as little as 29 days?!? Pray with us for that, please! We want our baby home.