Adoption...

One simple word brings so many different thoughts and feelings up for people. This ranges from those who have never thought about it, encountered it or considered it (no feelings at all) to those that have adopted 28 children from all different walks of life (LOTS of passion about the topic).

What does adoption make me think about? It makes me think about my birth and my birth mother. It makes me think about my parents (this thought makes me smile). It makes me think about the loss and disconnect I felt through my growing up years--though minimal and not terribly traumatic, it was real and it did shape who I am. It makes me think of the completeness I felt upon meeting my birth mother--and eventually my birth father and his family. It makes me think about Roth and Dera (this thought does not make me smile). It makes me think about our pending adoption and about our little girl, of course.

Strangely, I also find myself wondering some things about adoption. Is adoption always the best option for the child/birth family? Are all adoptions ethical? The answer is a definite "no", so what does someone who has had a passion to adopt for 30 years do with that information? How does one process the negative stories and the nightmares that you hear about adoption?
I have certainly had the thought that perhaps our $30,000 would have done more good if we had just somehow donated it to the region our daughter was from so that she could stay with her birth family. Still, given her story, I do believe that adoption was the best option for our little girl and that she needed a family who was passionate and educated about adoption--us.

In the future, I would like to see more options for birth families--especially in other countries. I would like to KNOW that the birth family truly felt that adoption was the best option and one they were at peace with when placing their child for adoption. I, for one, cannot imagine looking at my child and facing two options:
1. I keep my child and he/she likely dies.
2. I place my child up for adoption and he/she lives, but I will never see him/her again.

I wouldn't want to make either one of those choices and I am so grateful that I do not live in a country where I will ever be faced with those choices. I ache for my baby girl's birth mother and I hope that she is at peace with her decision (but I truly can't imagine how she would be).

What's the answer? Who knows! Adoption is a word that brings up so many different thoughts and feelings for so many people. For me, it is honestly 100% positive. I just hope my baby girl feels the same way one day.

By the way, we will be meeting her in 75 more days.