Bummer

This is just going to be a bummer of a week. It's adoption related--timing issues. I don't need anything specific. Eventually, I will buck up and make it through the next 57 days until I get to meet my own daughter. So far, the count down is actually going fairly quickly, so that's good. Here's to better days...

Well...

That was fast! Thank you to everyone who has been praying for our little girl. God has already answered our prayers in a big way. There is a mom currently in Ethiopia picking up her child and thanks to the wonders of the internet, she knew that we were concerned and was able to check in on Kayla for us. She was also able to speak with the head nurse about some of our concerns and this nurse is no longer concerned about Kayla and stated that she is making progress in some of the areas where she had previously regressed. I guess a lot can change in 23 days (that's how old the report was). So, a big PRAISE GOD for peace of mind. Panic has left the building--at least for now!

We did find out she has some hair on her head. Good news since I've been buying hair bows like crazy and all her pictures make her look completely bald. I cannot wait to see her myself, but for now it's nice to know that other moms can see her for me. We know of someone going about every other week from now until the time we get to go. Hopefully we'll be able to get a few good little reports from them.

Keep the prayers coming. They're definitely working! 57 days until we leave.

Not great....

Well, we got a new report on our girl and it was, at the very least, not great. She likely has rickets. It won't kill her, but if it's not one thing, it's another. She isn't meeting a single developmental milestone, but she was examined at 9 months, 2 weeks on a 9-11 month scale, so that's not so bad. There were some disconcerting remarks about her attachments and physical development that are causing some concern, however. She has actually regressed in certain areas and that's never good. The last report we received was shortly before the bacterial meningitis. The most recent report was completed one month after her illness. Our agency is going to look into this further and see if they can get a doctor to see Kayla. One mom going to Ethiopia soon has offered to examine her--she's a doctor--so hopefully our agency will allow that, just for our peace of mind. I'm just so ready to have this baby girl home.

As previously stated, I am a complete control freak, so when stuff like this happens and I have absolutely no control, it's tough. To make matters a bit worse, the families who had their paperwork in the same envelope with ours are traveling in the next few weeks to bring their kids home...I don't know why we got left out of that group, but it's going to be at least 3-4 months before our baby makes it home and that hits hard when a report like this comes through. Why post all this? I don't know--it's good to get it out of my head, I guess. Also, I know we have friends, family and complete strangers that will read this and say a prayer for our baby girl. We greatly appreciate that.

Oh, and it's our 9th anniversary today. Hard to believe that we've only been married for 9 years. It seems as though we've already lived through enough to turn anyone gray. Here's hoping the next 9 are a little less dramatic...but then, Chris married me and I can't seem to stand having a "normal" life, so I'm sure the next 9 will be filled with just as much adventure.

Tickets Purchased (kind of)!

Well, I booked our tickets today. We leave in 64 days! It's a 22 hour trip from take off to landing with two stops in between. This makes it seem so real. Crazy.

The best part...someone else paid for the tickets!!! Chris' dad was willing to help us book the tickets using his airline miles, but after checking into it, it just wasn't going to work out. So, he offered to just buy them. We were not expecting that. We are very grateful.

The most amazing part...we haven't had to pay 1 penny towards this second trip. We knew that when we found out that we'd have to travel twice that God would provide and He most certainly has. Of course.

Updates

I decided to update our blog a little bit. I put tickers with our kids birthdates and added our adoption timeline on the right hand side. I can't believe how many specific dates I remembered off the top of my head. I also can't believe how quickly we got our paperwork done for our homestudy and our dossier. Our referral was crazy fast, once we switched agencies and we had our I171-H in record setting time. Still, this process seems to be taking FOREVER and has had so many delays. At least I know it's not my fault!

One of THOSE days.

Well, it's time, it's one of those days again...but it's actually been a pretty long time since I've had one of THOSE days. They used to come about every two weeks, but it's been well over a month (according to past blog posts) Still, it has just been one of those days. It's a tough adoption day. I don't know how else to put it. This journey is tough. I've known that there is a little girl 1/2 way around the world just waiting for me for almost 3 1/2 months. I have yet to meet her, but I know I love her and I long for her. I can't even imagine how I'm going to feel in the weeks between her court date--when we meet her and leave her behind--until we can go back to Ethiopia to bring her home!

Today, because things have actually progressed, because she is healthy (as far as we know) and because we have our court date set, it's not nearly as bad as some of my tough adoption days have been. There are no tears, there is no anger. Sure, I'm a little crabby (poor Chris--it's mostly with him), but for the most part I'm just sad. I miss my baby girl. My family doesn't feel quite complete. I want to hold her. I want to love on her. I want her to know that she is loved.

I'm sure I'll be fine in the morning, but I just hate days like this.

Adoption...

One simple word brings so many different thoughts and feelings up for people. This ranges from those who have never thought about it, encountered it or considered it (no feelings at all) to those that have adopted 28 children from all different walks of life (LOTS of passion about the topic).

What does adoption make me think about? It makes me think about my birth and my birth mother. It makes me think about my parents (this thought makes me smile). It makes me think about the loss and disconnect I felt through my growing up years--though minimal and not terribly traumatic, it was real and it did shape who I am. It makes me think of the completeness I felt upon meeting my birth mother--and eventually my birth father and his family. It makes me think about Roth and Dera (this thought does not make me smile). It makes me think about our pending adoption and about our little girl, of course.

Strangely, I also find myself wondering some things about adoption. Is adoption always the best option for the child/birth family? Are all adoptions ethical? The answer is a definite "no", so what does someone who has had a passion to adopt for 30 years do with that information? How does one process the negative stories and the nightmares that you hear about adoption?
I have certainly had the thought that perhaps our $30,000 would have done more good if we had just somehow donated it to the region our daughter was from so that she could stay with her birth family. Still, given her story, I do believe that adoption was the best option for our little girl and that she needed a family who was passionate and educated about adoption--us.

In the future, I would like to see more options for birth families--especially in other countries. I would like to KNOW that the birth family truly felt that adoption was the best option and one they were at peace with when placing their child for adoption. I, for one, cannot imagine looking at my child and facing two options:
1. I keep my child and he/she likely dies.
2. I place my child up for adoption and he/she lives, but I will never see him/her again.

I wouldn't want to make either one of those choices and I am so grateful that I do not live in a country where I will ever be faced with those choices. I ache for my baby girl's birth mother and I hope that she is at peace with her decision (but I truly can't imagine how she would be).

What's the answer? Who knows! Adoption is a word that brings up so many different thoughts and feelings for so many people. For me, it is honestly 100% positive. I just hope my baby girl feels the same way one day.

By the way, we will be meeting her in 75 more days.

Zoo with Friends

We got to spend some time at a nearby zoo with some good friends who were visiting from out of town (McKenya and family, if you know who they are). The kids all had a great time, especially when we celebrated all four of their birthdays with gifts!

Swimming Lessons

Since we spend so much time in the water--you may wonder if we do anything else during the summer months based on our blog photos--my mom decided that Gavin HAD to have swimming lessons this summer. I'm glad she insisted. He did great and really enjoyed it.

Cottage

Hanging out at the cottage is especially fun on a sunny weekend. The boys had a great time in the water (as always) and we even got to take Roth with us.

Family Visit

Part of my biological family came to visit. I didn't take as many pictures as I should have (only got my grandparents), but here are a few. It as great seeing everyone--my grandparents, two aunts and an uncle. I love having them in my life and obviously the boys do, too.

Swimming

Cute goggle boys! I love Reily's ears.
This is the little girl we had for 10 days in July. They kids LOVED the water, we were happy to take them anywhere that they were all happy.

Picture Game

See if you can spot at least 5 differences between the pictures. Remember that game? Really though, no "comments" necessary :)

News!!!

Well, we have a court date. We will be meeting our girl in 79 days and going to court to adopt her in 80 (October 26). Of course, none of this is final and it could change, but they're telling us to buy plane tickets, so...here goes nothin'!

Also, we got a medical report on Kayla last week and it stated that she has "gazing eyes which are filled with laughter. She also has a beautiful smile." This goes along with what the photos of her show. The report also states that "she seems an observer". Hmmmm...maybe a little like our Gavin--I can handle that!

She's still tiny--like 1oth percentile for weight and height, but that's actually pretty good for Ethiopian babies while they're still in care centers there. She is definitely 100th percentile for cuteness.

There you have it, the latest news on our girl.