Adoption Decree

Today we received notification that our Adoption Decree has been issued and received by our agency. This is great news, because this had to happen before we could be submitted for our embassy date--when we will go to bring Kayla home. December is definitely a strong possibility now that we have received this news! Still praying for the 14th. We could find out any day now, but probably won't until next week. Oh, what a Happy Thanksgiving that would be!

Happy Birthday, little one

Well, our baby girl turns 1 today. While we feel very fortunate to legally be her mommy and daddy and to have met her, it is a little sad that we're not with her today. We do plan to celebrate with her once we get her home and she'll never know the difference (especially since they won't celebrate this day at all in Ethiopia), but it sure would have been nice to just have her home by her first birthday. We've missed so many milestones already, so it's a little tough to miss this big one.

Our solution to overcoming the sadness has been a 3 day trip to Chicago! We have ridden a train, visited the Shedd Aquarium, Chicago Children's Museum, the Field Museum, Medieval Times, there's been some swimming in the hotel pool (and maybe a little shopping) and today, we're having lunch with my aunt and uncle, I'm going to the mall and the boys get to go to Legoland. Talk about avoidance!

I haven't decided whether or not we'll figure out a way to mark this day or if we'll just let it pass and celebrate with Kayla once she's home. I suppose I'll just go with my mood when the moment hits. For now, Happy Birthday, little one. You are very present on our minds and in our hearts today (and every day). We hope to see you again soon!

Our Testimony

It is Adoption Month and Sunday was Orphan Sunday. We took time during our church service to talk about the orphans in the world and to raise awareness--both of the fact that there are so many orphans and on what people can do to care for the orphan. Fortunately, we have a very adoption minded church, so we get to talk about this throughout the year, too, but this Sunday was especially focused on this topic and I was able to share some of our story...

Many of you know that I have had a passion for adoption and caring for the orphan all of my life. I really think this stems from the fact that I was adopted and I always saw adoption as God’s plan for my life to get me to my family and ultimately, into His family.

I married a man that I knew was open to adoption because not adopting was not an option for me! Early last year, Chris and I knew that the time was right to begin pursuing adoption and we decided that an international infant adoption would be the best fit for our family. We started trying to figure out what country we could adopt from and truly felt led to Ethiopia. We went ahead and started filling out the first of a few mounds of paperwork that would be required and started a process that would take a little over a year and a half to complete.

Just about one year after starting this process, on April 6 of this year, I received a phone call that a beautiful 4 ½ month old baby girl in Ethiopia needed a family. Would we like to review her file? YES! She had some medical concerns, but these were issues that we were comfortable with and confident that we could handle—especially because of where we live! We quickly accepted this referral and instantly fell in love with the little face in the photos.

A few weeks later, Ethiopia completely changed their adoption process and started requiring adoptive parents to travel to the country twice, instead of once. The first trip would be to meet the child and then attend a court hearing to declare an intention to adopt a specific child after having met them. One and half weeks ago, we returned from this trip where we stood in front of a judge and declared our intention to adopt our little girl. At the end of that hearing, the judge said, “She is yours.” The second trip would be where a family would bring their child home with all the proper documentation. We hope to complete this trip in December or January.

When this change was announced, we were all but assured that we would only have to travel once since we already had our referral and our paperwork was well on its way to Ethiopia. But, God had other plans. Remember that volcano in Iceland last April? Well, that caused our paperwork to NOT make it to Ethiopia in time to be translated and so we received news that we would have to travel twice. And as hard as this whole thing has been, I truly do believe that it was in God’s plans for us to travel twice.

This is not a cheap trip. When we started this process, I just assumed that we would cover the finances. God has been so faithful to us in the finance department and I knew that He was calling us to adopt, but I never dreamed that He wanted me to rely on Him for the money to do it, too. My thought process was just that He had been so faithful throughout our lives that we would go ahead and take care of the money. I don’t think He liked that! When we found out we had to travel twice (another several thousand dollars), I just knew that God was going to have to provide for that. And, boy, has He! As soon as we turned that part of our journey over to Him, He chose to bless us again and again and again. All in all, I don’t think we will have to pay more than a few thousand dollars out of pocket for this $32,000 child. God is good! We really assumed we’d be in debt for a few years to follow this calling that God had placed on our hearts. But, through our leaning on God for help in this area, I feel like He has said to me, “You foolish girl. Why would I ask you to do something like this AND leave you in debt?” He’s not, we will not be in debt at all.

I share this for a couple of reasons. The first is that I want everyone to know that adoption can be affordable. Don’t let money scare you away. The second reason I’ve shared this part of our story is that I want to make sure that people know how blessed we have been through this process. God has chosen to bless us with this beautiful baby girl. God has chosen to bless us financially through this process. God has chosen to allow us to be a part of something so much bigger than ourselves. Stephen Curtis Chapman of Show Hope put it best when he said…”I just pictured God pouring out His grace, inviting us to bring another child to stand under it”. How lucky are we to be participants in God’s plan for this little girl?

Adoption is such a wonderful gift. It is a gift to the parents, the extended family and the child—and it is a gift that is hugely on the heart of God—one that He is directly involved with as much as we will allow. I am so glad that we have been forced to allow Him into every part of our adoption. We have been blessed and I know the blessings will keep coming—especially once we get to bring her home!

John 15:5 is a scripture that has come to mean a lot to me through this process. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” With God, I believe that I can do anything, including handle all the road blocks and challenges that have been thrown at me through this adoption. Without Him, I would not have made it this far and would be in debt up to my eyeballs. God is amazing and so is walking in His plan.

To-do List

Well, realizing that we could be leaving in as few as 29 days to pick up our daughter has motivated me to get moving on my to-do list for trip #2. Of course, we might not be leaving for 69 more days, but since we'll likely have less than two weeks notice, I can't really wait to tackle this list until we get our notice!

Today I made and ordered a photo album for Kayla's birth mother. A huge part of the reason that we chose to adopt from Ethiopia is that it is possible to meet the birth parent. As long as she shows up, which most birth parents do, we will be able to meet her during our 2nd trip. It has been recommended that we bring photos of our daughter to share with her. While it is possible that she won't even recognize the healthy, nearly one year old baby girl in the photos (compared to the very sick 2 month old she relinquished), I want her to have these photos so that she can see how well Kayla is doing. So, I put together an album with around 45 pictures of Kayla--mostly from our first visit.

My hope is that the book brings joy to her mother, though I'm sure some sadness will accompany the joy. There are photos of us holding Kayla. I hope that those bring her peace in knowing that her little girl is loved, but I am sure that part of her will wish it was her holding her baby in the photos.

Meeting my own birth mother was something that I always knew that I wanted to do when I felt I was ready. I was about 20 when I felt ready and I was as ready as any adopted child could be for that type of meeting. I was finally able to find my birth mother when I was 22 and meeting her answered a lot of questions that I had. Of course, it also opened a kind of Pandora's box that could never again be sealed, but it hasn't been all bad. I was able to thank her for giving me up for adoption and that was my real goal. I was saddened to learn that she didn't feel that she did this for me, but rather out of selfishness, but I still think she did it for me, too--whether she can admit that or not--so that I could have a better life and I am so grateful for that. I also got to see her face and experience a little bit of her personality and yes, I got some of my looks and some of my personality from her. Meeting her was like finding that last puzzle piece that you need to complete the picture.

I don't know what the likelihood is that Kayla will ever have the opportunity to meet her birth mother, if she wants to. So, I realize that I may be the only link between my daughter and her birth mother and I want to make sure that I thank her birth mother for the sacrifice that she is making. I also want to make sure that I ask her some questions that I think Kayla will want answers to. Whether or not she answers is up to her, but at least I will be able to honestly tell my daughter that I tried. I also want photos of her birth mother, so that Kayla can see her face one day and know who it is that she looks like. If you've never had to wonder, you have no idea how much that can matter to a child.

I hope that her birth mother leaves our meeting with a feeling of peace that her baby girl will be loved and cherished by Chris and me. There are many other things that I hope for this meeting, but I don't even know how to put them into words, so I'll leave it at this for now.

Tomorrow, I'm tackling that drawer full of clothes, some with price tags still on, that I've been avoiding for a long time. I am not real sure what size she'll be in, especially since we don't really know when we're going, but I have a variety, so I need to get it washed and figure out what I want to take with us.

Did you catch that we could be leaving in as little as 29 days?!? Pray with us for that, please! We want our baby home.

Reily's Birthday

Reily is four!We don't always get to have a birthday party on a birthday, but we always take the birthday boy to McDonald's for a Happy Meal.

This is the "nurse kit" that Reily got for his birthday. Now he can be just like daddy.

Because it was Kacey's birthday too, we had a joint party this weekend. The kids loved it. There was lots of noise!

It was a fun weekend.

Sunday Project

I was feeling a bit crafty today so I made these. Well, I actually made the signs for the boys a couple of years ago, but Reily had colored all over them with a permanent marker at some point so I just fixed those, but Kayla's is new. The most fun was mixing colors--all I have is white, red, yellow and blue, so I really had to mix colors to make something more girly.Kayla's has three ribbons hanging from it for all of her hair bows. There are 54 of them. Yes, I realize that having this many hair bows for a child who is not living with me may seem a bit extreme, but shopping for her has helped me keep my sanity in her 7+ month absence, so I'm okay with it. Unfortunately, you can't even see the cute ribbons hanging down. Maybe I'll have to add a couple more! Good thing she finally grew some hair.

Exciting news!!!

Well, it's still Reily's birthday, but he's napping, so I don't feel too badly for hijacking his exciting day to bring you this news...

Our agency has finally started giving families dates to return to Ethiopia to get their kiddos AND it's not taking as long as they first predicted for many of those families. This means that 12/14 and 12/28 are still good possibilities for us to return to Ethiopia to bring our baby girl home.

HUGE congrats to my friends who are leaving to pick up their babes in just 19 days!!!

Please pray with us for 12/14. It means that she would be home for Christmas AND that we wouldn't have to ditch Gavin and Reily over Christmas. Of course, we'll be happy to go 12/28 if that's the date we get, but 12/14 would be so much nicer. Oh, this would just be a Christmas miracle. This mommy is excited right now! We'd be leaving in like one month and 3 days. That would be amazing.

Happy birthday, Reily!!!

My baby boy is 4 today. This child was a total surprise to us, but I can't imagine my life without him in it. He is, without a doubt, the most loving person I have ever met. Sometimes he is so overwhelmed by the love that he feels that he'll sort of charge at someone and practically knock them over. His hugs are fierce and his kisses are precious. He offers forgiveness very freely and never holds a grudge. His mind works in such a unique way--he can explain how anything works and it almost always makes sense. He constantly amazes me and I am so lucky to be his mommy.

Happy birthday, Reily. I love you!


It's also cousin Kacey's birthday. These two little cousins were born on the same day, just hours apart. It was a total coincidence since they were due weeks apart, but we always make sure to get together around their birthdays and celebrate. We're looking forward to their visit this weekend. Happy birthday, Kacey.

Still waiting

Well, we will be waiting for a very long time, so that's not really a news flash! We're a little over 1 week into an 8-12 week wait. We're pretty much planning to have our baby girl home sometime in January. In the meantime, I'm doing my very best to remain positive and optimistic about life. There are so many things to be grateful for that it hasn't been too hard to be content while we wait. Ask me again in 5 weeks, but so far, so good.

I do have to say that I am so grateful that we have two kiddos at home already. They keep us very busy and offer so much love that I don't really feel like I'm missing anything. This wait without my boys would probably kill me and my heart does ache for my friends who are waiting to return to Ethiopia to pick up their only child.

I am also thankful that we're in the holiday season. Reily's birthday is tomorrow (he'll be 4!!!), then Thanksgiving and Christmas. There will certainly be enough going on in between all of that to keep us busy and focused on our present life rather than on what/who we don't have. Sure, I wish she was just home already to experience all of this with us, but there's nothing I can do to get her here sooner, so I might as well just enjoy life in the wait. And, I am. How could I not enjoy life with these two beautiful boys calling me "mommy" and hugging me all day long?

Waiting

So, I'm pretty much the most impatient person I know. So many people have commented on how patient I've been through this whole grueling adoption process. I just think to myself--if they only knew!

One week ago today, I finally met my baby girl--after nearly 7 months of waiting. One week ago tomorrow, I left her behind in Ethiopia. One stinking week and I miss her like crazy. I have to wait another 9-13 (at least) to bring her home. I know that doesn't sound like a long time to most of you, but it feels like an eternity to me right now. Especially because we really have no guarantee that she'll be home in that time frame even. Additionally, we will have, at most, 2 weeks notice to make the trip to bring her home. This means, we pretty much just have to sit around waiting for that email telling us to get ready and go. Not being able to plan life because you have to stay focused on this one thing certainly doesn't help keep your mind off of it!

So far, I'd say I'm doing fairly well with the wait, but it's fresh. Ask me again around week 5 when I still haven't heard anything about going back. I'm sure my patience will be well worn by then, even if I don't show it to most people.

Best Husband Ever

So, I just feel the need to say that I have the best husband ever. No, he didn't do anything particularly sweet or wonderful today, I just think he's wonderful. God knew what he was doing when He made sure we met. I don't always feel this way because he's a man and I'm a woman and we just operate differently, but on all the big stuff (and most of the little stuff) I sure did luck out and I don't say it often enough.

As we were walking into the airport to fly to Ethiopia to adopt our daughter my mom said to Chris, "I'll bet you had no idea what you were getting into when you married into this family." I didn't hear her, but said something very similar to him a few hours later. I'm a crazy adventurous person and I never sit still for very long. I always have some huge change that I'm planning and have lived and extra-ordinary life. Chris is always along for the ride, and happy to be. It's been one heck of a ride and we're no where near done. The best part is that he not only supports me in what I'm passionate about, but he gets to the point where he's passionate about it, too. He always says he loves my dreams and is glad to be a part of them, but that he would have no idea how to accomplish them with out me driving it.

I love this man. I am glad that he is mine. Without his support and his keeping my feet partially on Earth, I don't know that I'd be able to accomplish 1/2 of what I have. He is a good match for me (and a wonderful daddy!). I have the best husband ever, at least for me.

Kayla's Legs

While we were in Ethiopia, we met with our daughter's pediatrician to discuss any questions we might have about her health. The meeting was filled with good news and some not so good news. Kayla's heart issue is not longer an issue (praise God!). She is making progress in many areas, though she is still fairly far behind. Her legs, however, are the major issue--one that we were not aware of. She doesn't use them at all--at 11.5 months old. She would not bear weight on them for us or for the pediatrician at all. He said that they were concerned about this and that they had run tests to see if her muscles were developing properly or not. They are, she just prefers not to use them. This is likely due to lack of stimulation, but at this age, it's not okay. We asked what they would do about it and they mentioned physical therapy, but neither Chris nor I really got the impression that there would be much follow through there.

That night, I laid in bed and just prayed for a miracle. I prayed that she would walk the next day (why not?), but that if that wasn't God's will, that we would see some improvement in her legs the next day. Well, when we got to the care center (legally her parents), she did not come running to me :)! However, when I laid her on the floor and played with her legs, she loved it--we even got some giggles. When I would stop, she would forcefully shove her feet back in my face--this means that she was using those little legs! We got her to bear about 50% of her weight on her legs and she didn't mind at all. Just playing with her for 20 minutes produced these results, so we had hope. Then, the nurse came to see if we had any questions and Chris asked about the physical therapy and she told us that they had already set up an appointment for Kayla for that afternoon! Talk about an answer to prayer. Whew! Coming home knowing that she will not just be getting worse, but actually receiving help for her major problem made leaving much easier.

This is one amazing little girl and while she has some major hurdles to overcome, we truly believe that God has placed her with the right family to help with this and we have very high hopes for her future. We got her referral out of turn and I know it was because we were open to her health concerns. Those issues are resolved and now we have new issues, but nothing that makes us question her place in this world as our daughter. I can't wait to get her home!

SHE IS OURS!!!

Well, we just returned from our first trip to Ethiopia and I am so happy to report that we heard those three magic words from the judge. She is ours and we are hers. It was an amazing trip for so many reasons. I will get into all of them in the days to come, but for now, just a quick update. And, since we are not supposed to post photos of her yet, I'll just give a few teasers.

Sunday was a free day. We hired a driver and toured the capital--Addis Ababa. We visited some tourist attractions and did some shopping. It was fun to get out and experience some of the city.

(At a great coffee shop in Addis)

Monday, we attended orientation and then met Kayla. We got to spend about 2 hours with her before her nap time when we had to leave. She is everything I imagined her to be and so much more. I was in love before, but now it is so much more real. I miss her already! We also met with our lawyer to review how court would go in the morning and then headed to the Care Center for another couple of hours with Kayla and a meeting with the pediatrician about her health. There were some surprises in that meeting--some good and some not so good. I'll get more into that later, too.

(The fingers we just fell in love with)(and the toes!)

Tuesday, we went to court and answered a few simple questions. The judge was very kind and this was a wonderful experience. The last question had to do with whether or not we understood that the adoption was irrevocable. Yes, we understand and we're glad that works both ways! Her final words to us were, "She is yours". And, she is. Ours.

(That's my girl--irrevocably.)

Leaving

Well, we are leaving tomorrow. The day has FINALLY almost arrived. Final packing and cleaning will take place tonight and then we're off. My mom and dad will stay at our house with our boys for the six days that we are gone. This morning, Reily told me that he is really excited about getting Kayla. I don't think he quite understands the purpose of this trip. I'm afraid he'll be a little disappointed when we come home without her (me too).

Here's a rough break down of our schedule and I've added the Ethiopian date and time to the top of our page so you can figure out what all these times mean back here.

Friday, depart at 3pm. Switch planes in Minneapolis and Amsterdam. Arrive in Addis Ababa at 9pm (their time = 1 pm here, Saturday).
Sunday is a free day for us. The care center is closed, so we will not be meeting Kayla. We hope to soak in as much of the culture as possible and do some shopping and site seeing.
Monday morning (midnight-ish Sunday here) we have orientation and then we get to meet our baby girl. We are slated to have only 2 hours with her. We will then meet with her pediatrician to ask any questions we might have about her health. I don't know what the rest of that day holds.
Tuesday morning (again, midnight-ish here) we will be preparing to head to court to stand before a judge and declare our intentions to adopt this baby. Then, we go to say goodbye to her (maybe a 30 minute visit) and then we're pretty much done and just wait until 11pm for our departing flight.
Wednesday, we arrive back in WI around 1pm.

Please keep these things on your prayer list for the next 6 days:

• Safe travels & good health
• Our boys
• My parents as they take care of our boys
• Kayla
• Court proceedings and for favor with the judge

We can't even begin to describe the emotions that surround this trip. At times there is great excitement, at other times complete dread. Most of the time, it's somewhere in between. We feel so blessed to be following God's leading in this direction, but it is a hard road to travel. I am weary and my heart is aching and will ache even more in the coming months as we wait to bring this beautiful little girl home.

As we get ready to leave, I want to leave you with a few cute pictures of my kiddos. I sure do love these boys and I will miss their sweet faces and all their loving while I'm gone!

Thanks for all your support!

Apple orchard

Pumpkin Patch in Rice Lake with some friends

Chris, Gavin, Reily and our buddy, Hunter

Our old dog, Max--yep, he has 3 legs now--it was good to see him

Reily, just being Reily

Some photos I included in our little album for Kayla

The big brothers

Guess what?

We leave in two days. I'm so ready. Friday can just not come soon enough. Stinks that we have to wait around until 3 pm to take off. Friday is just going to DRAG on and on and on until we're on that plane. But, we've waited this long. What's another few hours?

THREE!

We leave in three days and I'm working on that to-do list like a maniac. Last night, I typed, organized and printed tons of information that we need to take with us and leave for my mom (who is caring for our kids). I also sent the new photos of our girl to be developed--not that this has anything to do with our leaving, but I want them! Tonight, I'm making the dreaded Wal-mart run for a few necessities and groceries for the kids while we're gone. Thank goodness my mom offered to watch the boys while I do this. Tomorrow, I guess I'll knock out the rest of it. Thursday we'll finish packing and then Friday...we're off!

I have never been to Africa. I have always wanted to go. I have been to many other places and experienced many wonderful and heart breaking things, but never in Africa. I am expecting this experience to be one that I cannot put into words. My heart already longs for a country I have never visited and it's not just because my little girl is there. I read stories of other adoptive parents who have visited this country and have seen their photos and I am excited to take in this new country--the sounds, the culture and the people (not so much the smells probably). Chris and I have a strong desire to go into foreign missions in the coming years and the further we get into this process, the more I feel a tugging on my heart towards Africa. I don't know what the long-term future holds for us, but I do know that this girl is excited to see what she's been missin' all these years. My heart is ready for this experience--both Africa and my girl.

New pictures!!!

We just got a DVD of Kayla a week and a half ago. I figured that would be it for updates before we got there--even though we were due for new photos and a medical/health/developmental update. Then, a friend of mine who is traveling with us in four days to meet her son told me that she got an update and photos. I just decided to check email to see if we had also gotten an update for some reason. We did! I have 5 new photos (wish I could share them) and a new report. She's doing pretty well and has even more hair than she did in the video. She's so beautiful with the biggest dark brown eyes. I just can't wait to pick her up and squeeze her in a few days.

4

Leaving in four days. Everything is pretty much packed. Chris is off Thursday night, so we can finish then. For the next 3 days, it's just taking care of the details. There are LOTS of details. Somehow, I'm managing to get my job done on top of it all, but I'm not sure how. My brain is just not in it. Thank goodness Chris takes care of most of the housework. There's no way I have the energy to do that this week. I just want to go already! In one week, I will be able to say that I have met my daughter, held her, seen for myself how beautiful and wonderful she is. Here's hoping I can add healthy to that list.

Five!

And back to excited...mostly. Yikes, I have a lot to do. I should get moving instead of blogging. We had a great weekend, though. I will have to post some pictures before we head to AFRICA. I'm going to Africa next week. What are you doing?

six

And all excitement has left and been replaced by dread. God, help me because I cannot do this alone.