Haircuts

It was time...I have never cut Reily's hair short. I was always a little afriad to. When I cut Gavin's really short, it never grew back the same and I loved Reily's baby thin, baby soft hair, but the kid is going to be 4 in a few months, so it was time. As you can see, Reily couldn't care less about the haircut. Gavin, on the other hand, looks like his world has just ended. They are SOOOOOOOO different! I assure you, it only took Gavin about 10 minutes to get over losing his long, messy mop of curls, but they were a miserable 10 minutes. He has now decided that he likes his short hair and I think he looks rather handsome.

I was a little afraid we'd lose the redness in Reily's hair after cutting it, but I actually think it looks more red this short.

Beach Day

Cute Kids

Here they are, as promised.

Eating giant suckers from their aunties. Sooooo sticky.
The boys love painting.

My baby

I want my baby! The good news is that we have been told that they are very close to submitting our case to the courts. The bad news is that we were told the same thing 5 weeks ago. This time, though, they gave specific information about what was needed for our case to be ready and what's left to gather is pretty minimal. So, there's still a chance we'll get that court date before closures.

And, the really good news, we were awarded an adoption grant by a wonderful agency. God truly is providing for the additional cost of this second trip--we're getting closer. Did anyone doubt that He would? :) It's a nice little affirmation that we are, indeed, following His plans for our lives.

It's raining again, really raining. I'm wondering if our yard will ever dry out this year, but then I think maybe the more rain we get here, the less they'll get in Ethiopia and then their closures for rainy season will be shorter. Makes sense, right? Funny how all my thoughts end up in Ethiopia these days. I haven't yet figured out if "pregnancy brain" or "adoption brain" is worse.

I will do my best to post some pictures of the boys this weekend. I know that is what most everyone wants to see anyway. Who can blame you? They are awfully cute.

3 kids?

There are definitely some things I'm going to miss once we have 3 kids...

-each parent only having one kid at a time (I figure the opportunity for this will decrease A LOT)
-"date nights" with my boys (Chris is working most nights--I am NOT taking all 3 out by myself)
-being evenly matched--1 parent for each kid
-having enough hands to grab all children
-having enough room for other people in our vehicle
-having all self-sufficient kids (they can dress, feed and go potty themselves--she will not)

I am sure there are more, but this is what I thought of tonight as I was out on a "date" with my sweet Reily. I will just have to make the most of the time I have with only 2 kids.

Of course, there will be many things that I am going to love about having 3 kids, too...

-I'll have my girl (yes, I am excited to have a girl!)
-I like odd numbers (just a warning, if we get a #4, we won't be stopping there, 5 sounds better)
-the middle row in the van won't be empty anymore
-the hole in my heart should finally be filled after 10+ years of dreaming of this moment
-I'll have 3 children that will all get along perfectly and play well together (positive thinking)
-everyone will just expect my life to be out of control and won't ask why I'm frazzled

Of course, all of this only matters IF WE EVER GET HER HOME!!!!!!!

Still no news on the adoption front to report and I am getting a little tired of saying that. We do, however, have a phone interview for an adoption grant tonight. So, if you think of us, say a little prayer about that. I don't know when we'll receive a decision, but even being considered is encouraging.

I so wish I could post her picture here so that you could all see her. She is beautiful! If you could see her sweet face, you would understand why I long for her.

A New Day

It's a new day and I'm already fine--not over it, certainly--but fine. Thanks for all the concern expressed. It was my choice to be crabby and now I choose not to be. It's going to be a beautiful day. (I think the chocolate covered, custard filled long-john helped last night!)

Poopy!

The title just describes my attitude today (and this is a word I hear often since it is Reily's new favorite!). We received notice that our Visa approval--to bring our baby girl home--is in Ethiopia. Woo-freakin'-hoo, is all I have to say. Typically, people get very excited about this because it means that if they've already passed court, they can now bring their kiddos home. We don't even have a court date assigned to us yet and court closures are coming up very quickly. Other agencies have been able to give court dates to families that have to travel twice, but not ours. They promise that it's coming soon, but then they promised that 4 weeks ago, too, and we still have no court date. As far as we know, they haven't even presented our case to the courts so that we can be assigned a court date. Needless to say, I am feeling poopy about the whole situation right now. I'll be fine, I always pull out of it, but today is just not my day. I should be excited about our Visa approval making it's way to Ethiopia, but instead, it just reminded me that we're still so far away. (I know, it'll be over before we know it and she'll be ours forever, God's timing is perfect and all that, but right now it feels like it'll be FOREVER until she's ours--just let me have one poopy day. I think I've earned that right.)

Birthdays

Today, Gavin turned 5! We celebrated with Happy Meals from McDonald's and a trip to the park. It actually wasn't raining today, so other than the mud everywhere, it was fun.

Sunday was my birthday, but we had Gavin's birthday party. It worked out quite well as I was surrounded by everyone I would have wanted around anyway, the food was great and my kids were the center of attention (Gavin because we were celebrating him and Reily because we weren't celebrating him).

Chris made a sandbox for the boys as part of Gavin's birthday gifts. They love it.

Donations!

We have a great little consignment store in town and they always give people the choice to take back their clothes that the store doesn't buy or to just donate them. I have already purchased nearly every decent item that they had on clearance for kids 5-10, so I decided to ask what they do with the items that people don't want back. They just donate them--no tax deduction or anything like that. So, I asked if I could have the stuff. They told me I'd have to sort it since they don't have the time to do that, but I don't care. Free clothes for Ethiopia is worth a little sorting! I wonder if we'll have enough suitcase space for all the donations we'll accumulate before we go. Maybe it's a good thing we have to go twice...maybe.

On that note, we've now received information that possibly only one of us will have to go the first time. I don't know what we'll decide to do, but it's definitely a tough call. On the one had, we'd save a lot of money and the boys would get to stay with one parent. On the other hand, going alone could be very tough and coming home alone--after meeting my baby girl and having to leave her--could be even tougher. Anyone just dying to go to Ethiopia with me for a few days? Tickets are a mere $2600, or so. :)

Birthday Bouquet

Camping

We planned to go camping this weekend and then we got the dreaded forecast of constant rain. My decided it would be best to just take Gavin in case the trip was a royal disaster. It wasn't. We had a great time! It sprinkled a few times, but never really rained, so that was nice. I think next time we'll take Reily, too. Once we have 3 kids, who knows how long it'll be before we try camping again.

Garage Sale

We had a garage sale this weekend--to raise funds for our 2nd trip to Ethiopia. Lots of friends donated great items for us to sell and even though it was a ton of work, it was very worth it.

The grand total was $1546.50. I'm amazed!

Setting up...it was a little overwhelming, to say the least!
The garage didn't even come close to containing everything on Thursday, thank goodness it was a beautiful day. By Friday, it all fit in the garage--good thing because it poured all morning.

This little pile is all that's left--St. Vincent's is picking it up on Monday.

Thanks again everyone!

Pacifiers

For the past few weeks, I've found myself very detached from this little girl that will eventually be ours, but who knows when! I think it's just my coping mechanism. While we were in Minnesota, we stopped at a Babies R Us, just so I could see if there was anything we needed. There wasn't...but I did decide to buy her some pacifiers and this little clip to keep it on her clothes. I have no idea why, but this little purchase made all of my love for her come rushing back. It's silly really, I have a whole dresser full of clothes for her, but pacifiers made me miss her. No explanation for that. We still have no idea when we'll first travel for her court date, but we're still praying for July. For now, we're just loving our boys and trying to raise some money to ease the financial pain of this surprise 2nd trip.

Minnesota

We spent last weekend in the Twin Cities--visiting family and enjoying all the free things that there are to do.

Sculpture Garden

MN Science Museum. Reily's doing a puppet show and Kacey is reading.

Downtown St. Paul

Swimming at Grandpa Rick's

Como Zoo/Conservatory

Preschool Graduation

Gavin graduated from his preschool class at the end of May. He did a great job singing songs and doing all the actions. He was very proud and so were we!

Beach Weather

Yesterday, it was even hotter (at least 92 degrees) so we took the boys to a nearby beach. We weren't sure that the water would be warm enough to play in, but I think the air was so warm that even that cold water felt great. The boys sure had a good time! I think this is going to be one long, hot summer. I guess it'll make the temps in Africa less of a shock (if we ever get there...)

Seriously?

From snow to sprinkler in 15 days...only in WI!

On May 8th, our boys wanted to play in the freshly fallen snow from the night before. Chris and I were completely un-thrilled with the new snow, so we let the boys call our good friend (and children's pastor), Preston, to see if he wanted to have a snowball fight with them. He was out and about, so he stopped over to play with the kids in the snow. We watched from inside wondering if this made us bad parents. We have since decided that this made us smart parents--we still let our kids have fun in the snow (in May), but we didn't have to get cold or wet to make sure they had that opportunity. Thanks Preston!!!


Today, May 23rd, it was like 85 degrees and 100% humidity (rare for us ever, unheard of in May). I took the boys out for a walk which just produced a lot of sweat, so when we got home, they played in the sprinkler--just 15 days after having a snowball fight in the same backyard. Crazy!

Babies

Some great friends came to visit last weekend and brought their baby with them. Gavin, as usual, was enamored with the baby--but who could blame him? Liam is seriously cute!

No great news to report on our baby (now 6 months old), but we did learn that our case should be submitted to the Ethiopian courts in about two weeks and we will be assigned a court date sometime after that. We're still hoping and praying for July, of course. For now, we're just working on fundraising to help pay for that second trip. Our garage is quickly filling up with items donated by great friends who want to help out.

The sale will be the first weekend in June--wish us luck! Think we can make about $9000???

Adoption Thoughts

As long as I can remember, I have always wanted to adopt. I remember being in college and seeing commercials for special needs and older kids that needed to be adopted and I would try to figure out if it was feasible for me to adopt them. I was thrilled when Chris told me he was open to adoption--I wouldn't have married him if he hadn't been open to it. Adopting was not an option for me, it was THE option. When we decided to become parents, we went about it in a rather unconventional way and decided to do foster care to adopt. Of course, we all know how that turned out...it didn't result in adoption, but I ended up pregnant twice in the middle of all that and I now have 4 boys in my heart (side note: Roth will be 16 in July, which is crazy!).

Last spring, Chris and I decided it was time to dive head first into adoption again, hoping for different results this time around. We decided to go a completely different route to help guarantee different results. Eventually, we settled on Ethiopia, breezed through our paperwork and were approved. Waiting, waiting, waiting...a year later and we have a little girl thousands of miles away just waiting for us to come and get her and you'd think I would be in my glory realizing that my dream should shortly be a reality. Instead, I keep playing this saga out in my mind.

This could be a royal disaster. We have to fly to Ethiopia twice now and something could happen to us leaving our boys without parents. Financially, this is tapping every resource we have and putting all future dreams on further hold. I keep hearing attachment nightmares from other adoptive parents that are honestly scaring me a little bit. This shouldn't scare me, I mean we parented a kid who had reactive attachment disorder for 2 1/2 years and we still have a real connection with him--though different from the one I have with my other kids, it's real. I can handle smaller attachment issues with my hands tied behind my back after all we went through with Roth and Dera. Or can I? I'm older, I'm definitely more tired--I've loved and lost two children, I have been pregnant twice and have two terribly busy little boys that will be affected by this adoption, Chris and I rarely see one another and parenting is done in shifts rather than as a team, really. I'm not saying that I want to back down from this challenge, but I can definitely see, for the first time in my life, why adoption is not for everyone. I also understand why other adoptive parents tell us that they are proud of us for embarking on this journey. It takes a lot of courage, an abundance of patience and a really incredible support team. I have two of the three...this one might finally teach that patience God has been trying to beat into my head for almost 32 years. Maybe...

Just my thoughts for the day. If you have ever given a thought to adoption, make sure you pray about it a lot and let God lead. This is one adventure that is not to be entered into lightly.

We're good

Sometimes it just takes a bit of time to process all the information we're taking in regarding this adoption. We've processed the latest information and we're fine...at least for today!

I looks like we will not have to wait the predicted 3-4 months for a court date because we were already so far along in the process when the changes came, but there are no guarantees. We are hoping, and praying, for a court date sometime in July since the courts often close for all of August and September due to rainy season--if we don't get a July court date, it'll be more like a 5 month wait for court.

Please pray with us that we would have peace to just let this process run it's course. We know that we will have her home at some point and that we will have our daughter months sooner than if we had stuck with our old agency. So, really not all that bad when you get some perspective. Still, it's easy to get caught up in the details and to let the discouraging news that keeps coming get the best of us.

At this point, our ideal situation has been completely done away with, so plan, um, maybe k (way past a & b) would be that we get a court date in July--which we will have to travel for--and that we will then be able to pick up our baby in September sometime. Fingers crossed!

Then again...

We just found out it'll be 3-4 months before we have a court date. Of course, that's right in the middle of rainy season and they just close courts for weeks during rainy season, so it could be October before we have court and then another 2-3 months before we can bring her home. I honestly don't know what to say to that.

AHHHHHHH!

What a difference a day makes! Yesterday morning, we got fingerprinted so that we could get approved for a visa to bring our little girl home. Getting this approval typically takes at least a week, sometimes up to six. Under this new 2-trip policy, our agency has to have our approval before they can schedule us a court date. So, I called the visa approval office and while we were on the phone, they got our fingerprints, approved them and faxed us the approval. I'm still in shock. I faxed the approval to our agency, so hopefully we'll have our court date very soon. It's looking like we'll get to meet our little girl in June! As much as I still dread leaving our boys twice and having to leave her after meeting her, at least it feels like something has finally gone right. If we have to go twice, I just want to embrace the change and get this show on the road. Let's get this traveling over with and get on with life! (Thanks, mom, for listening to me and helping me change my attitude around. I could not do this without you.)

Also, I had a great meeting with a friend today who told me about a couple of great adoption grants and is willing to help us run a fund raiser. God will provide, I am certain.

Traveling twice

Well, it's official, we will be going to Ethiopia twice. It sucks and as much as I try to think of the positives, I just keep thinking about leaving Gavin and Reily behind twice and then meeting this precious little girl and having to leave her behind. In the end, it will all be fine, but getting to the end is going to be very tough. Let the fund raising begin, I guess! We've got to come up with that extra $9000 that we weren't planning on somehow. Let me know if you have any great ideas for that. Please pray for safe travels. I am nervous to leave our boys behind, twice now.

It's been a strange day...

Well, today some others from our agency heard that they will for sure only be traveling to Ethiopia once and we didn't hear that. Since today is the true cut-off, I'm guessing that means we will be traveling twice. Of course, we don't know this for sure, but it's feeling less and less likely that we'll get away with one trip. On the plus side, this likely means we will be meeting our daughter as early as June. On the down side, this means we will have to meet her and then leave her for 1-3 months before we can bring her home, we will have to leave the boys twice, AND we have to come up with about $9000 more. Yikes, hopefully God will just drop that in our laps! Overall, I'm not feeling too down or overwhelmed by this. It is what it is and we don't really know for sure yet, so I guess we're technically still waiting to find out, it just isn't looking so promising anymore.

Additionally, it is stinkin' May 7 and we are getting snow. Not just a little bit of snow that will be gone in an hour, but SNOW! Here are some pictures that I just took to prove it. This is one of those...you know you're a Wisconsinite when...moments.

My poor patio furniture
I love that bright green grass under the tree

Looks like all the flowers on the ground will come out okay--they're covered by the tree

I don't know that the blossoms on the crab apple tree will be so lucky

What a strange day! Gavin asked me if it was Christmas again.

You Know You're An Adoptive Parent When . . .

I'm totally stealing this from someone else's adoption blog. I LOVE IT! My personal thoughts are in orange.

You Know You're An Adoptive Parent When . . .
1. The fact that there are 143 million children without a parent to kiss them goodnight has made you lose sleep. (It feels so inadequate to help only one...for now!)
2. You realize DNA has nothing to do with love and family. (Lucky for me)
3. You can't watch Adoption Stories on TLC without sobbing. (Not so much sobbing, but definitely getting emotional which is kind of rare for me. Well, it used to be rare)
4. The fact that, if 7% of Christians adopted 1 child there would be no orphans in the world, is convicting to you. (I don't know if this is true or not, but if it is, let's get moving people! 7% could correct this issue? Seriously, let's get moving!)
5. You spend free time surfing blogs about families who have experienced the blessing of adoption. (Pretty much 3-4 evenings a week after the kids are in bed. How do you think I found this list?)
6. It drives you crazy when people ask you about adopted child's "real" parents. (Drives me nuts when people ask about my "real" parents, too. Biological is the word--or birth--leave "real" out of it)
7. You have ever been "pregnant" with your adoptive child longer than it takes an elephant to give birth.(2 years!) (2 years, try 6!)
8. You had no idea how you would afford to adopt but stepped out in faith anyway, knowing where God calls you He will provide. (Here's hoping...and believing)
9. You have ever taken an airplane ride half-way around the worldwith a child you just met. (Hopefully in the next few months, this is exactly what we'll be doing)
10. You believe God's heart is for adoption. (100%--again, lucky for me)
11. You realize that welcoming a child into your heart and family is one of the most important legacies you could ever leave on this earth. (Welcoming them into my heart, family and introducing them to the Lord, of course)
12. You know what the word "Dossier" means, and you can actually pronounce it! (And use a different word for all those out there that have no idea what it means = paperwork)
13. You have welcomed a social worker into the most private parts of your life. (Serious invasion of privacy, but we love ours)
14. You shudder when people say your child is so lucky that you adopted them, knowing full well you are the blessed one to have him or her in your life. (This one even bugs Chris, so you know it's bad)
-Author unknown