Meehan Family

New Blog

2011-05-13T14:56:00.002-05:00

Well, I don't know what happened to the post where I asked if anyone out there had success in changing their blog over to Wordpress, but I made the change while blogger was down (for the past 2 days).

We can now be found at http://meehanfive.wordpress.com/ (You can click on the title of this post above to go directly there). Come on over and check it out. Blogspot is not viewable in certain parts of the world (including the part we hope to move to). So, we've switched over to a blog host that is viewable. Hope to see you there!

Changing our Blog

2011-05-12T09:17:00.000-05:00

Has anyone out there changed their blog from blogspot to wordpress or anything else? Blogspot is not accessible in some parts of the world, so I'm feeling like we may need to change ours over before we head overseas, but I would HATE to lose everything that's already here. If you've moved yours and have been able to import all your old blogger posts, please let me know how you did it!
Thanks a million.

20,000+

2011-05-09T14:23:00.000-05:00

How fun! I wish I knew who viewer 20,000 was on this blog, but I just logged on and became viewer 20,001. I've been at this since October of 2006. I started out posting one new picture a day just to keep far away family up-to-date. There was about a year in there where I didn't blog at all and then I started back up with our recent adoption and I don't see stopping anytime soon. Thanks for checking in!

Mother's Day...good again

2011-05-08T14:50:00.000-05:00

Warning...this is another one of those heavy thoughts posts, so if you hate 'em, skip it.

Mother's day has been hard for me for the past few years. You see, this is not the first time that I've been the mother of three kids. In 2005, I celebrated my first Mother's Day with these two munchkins (and VERY pregnant with a third). It was a good day.
In 2006, I was supposed to celebrate Mother's Day with these three, but something happened the day before Mother's Day that I will never forget.
One of our foster boys had a "special needs" moment that started us down the process of losing both boys. It was crushing. These two boys that I had planned to adopt and had loved as my own for the past two years were slipping away. Mother's day hasn't been the same since then. It's been hard. I have wanted to celebrate. I had two beautiful biological boys that were still with me and who love me very much. I have the very best mom that a kid could ever hope for, but something (more specifically, two of my kids) were missing. It doesn't help that it all started that Mother's Day weekend either.

This year, however, I haven't dwelt on the sadness of that. This Mother's Day has been good and I've just let it be about celebration. I'm enjoying my day and I'm glad. It could be that having three kids again has healed some of that. It could be that time has healed my heart some more. I don't really know. I just know that I've enjoyed this day. I got hand made gifts and cards from my kids. My husband sent one of my boys into my room this morning with a menu and I got breakfast, of my choosing, in bed. Chris worked with Kayla on saying "mama" and she came into my room saying "mama, mama, mama". She's said it before, but not for quite a while and it felt good. We went to church where I got a cute flower and then home for lunch with my parents, brother and his wife. Now, the kids are napping and Chris is at work, but it's a beautiful day and we're going to enjoy pizza in the park once everyone is up. I'm loving today. It's a good day...thank goodness! I still miss my other two boys & I always will, but these three have made my day.

Reverend?

2011-05-06T15:26:00.000-05:00

Our denomination recently held their district council. Chris and I attended because I was a part of the credentialing service. I received my ministerial credentials almost a year ago, but this services was a recognition of that.

My mom and dad got to pray over us, which was very special.

I don't know if Reverend Elysabeth Meehan will ever sound "normal" to me!

Fire!

2011-05-06T15:23:00.000-05:00

This spring has been a bit rough--lots of snow and rain, not too much sun or warmth. We have had a couple of decent days and we've enjoyed every minute of them. S'mores are a favorite around here. We had a fun little fire outside and roasted some marshmallows one spring evening. We're hoping there's more good weather headed our way soon.

Easter

2011-05-06T15:18:00.001-05:00

Took some great photos

Found some more eggs

Played at the park AND had Roth visit

Easter was great this year

Egg Hunting

2011-05-06T15:08:00.000-05:00

Some friends hosted an egg hunt for our young marrieds group. The boys had tons of fun and got lots of junk.

Ethiopian head spinning (Kayla style)

2011-05-05T14:33:00.000-05:00

Okay, first you have to watch this video of this Ethiopian woman doing a traditional Ethiopian dance that involves an insane amount of head movement.

Then, you need to watch these strung together clips of my baby girl. This is how she always dances. I have seen many babies dance, but none like this. I don't know why she does this, but it's adorable and a little baby version of the other clip (at least in my opinion).

She also does the shoulder shrugging dance (if you've ever seen that Ethiopian one), but apparently the beat of this song wasn't hitting her that way. We'll have to capture that one some other day.

More on missions

2011-05-05T14:28:00.000-05:00

The number one question we get is "where are you going?". Short answer, we don't know. We don't necessarily get to choose. We apply, our denomination's missions department decides whether or not we're approved, then a specific location/job is selected. After that, we start the whole fund raising process. Right now, all we've done is submit our application. We haven't even been approved yet, so we don't know where we're going. Of course, we're allowed to put down our preference and we're a part of the decision making process. Our hearts are in/for Ethiopia. That is where we would like to go. The exciting thing is that I have discovered that their are opportunities there. However, I firmly believe that God will put us where He wants us and I will not pretend to know where that is. So, we'll see!

Why?

2011-05-01T20:06:00.001-05:00

This blog has followed/highlighted all of our adventures...foster care, babies and adoption--to name a few--so I figure it'll follow our journey into missions, as well. No worries, I'll still be posting cute pictures and video clips of the kids--I have a killer one of Kayla doing her Ethiopian head spinning dance--but I also plan to take some time to focus on our journey into the completely unknown.

A good friend recently asked me why we were going into missions--what our intended purpose is. I suppose there are a many different reasons that a person would choose to go into missions, but here's mine:

I grew up as a PK (pastor's kid). I've always been taught think about others and respond to their needs. My parents had me volunteering at a very young age. They took me on my first foreign mission trip when I was only 12. We spent 7 weeks in Europe and my dad preached at some youth camps in what was then Yugoslovia and Hungary. We also toured some and visited many different countries. When I was 16, I went on another trip to Romania and worked with children and visited orphanages. I believe that it was on that trip that my eyes were truly opened to the differences between my world and how so many others live. A desire to do something with missions or social service started at that point. When I was 18, I graduated high school a semester early and moved to Belgium where I worked with some missionaries for 3 months. In college, I participated in two state-side mission trips and just last year, Chris and I spent a week in El Salvador doing medical missions work. This was his first trip and he had a definite God moment on that trip that led him to also want to pursue missions, but that's really his story to tell so you'll have to ask him if you want more details. I guess you could say my whole life has been leading up to this. It's just that now it finally seems like the right time.

Does that answer why? Maybe 1/2 of it. The other half is that I want to make a difference. There are basic social needs that must be met in other parts of the world. AIDS is something you almost never hear about in the US anymore, but it is still making orphans on a daily basis in Africa. Fistula is a word I had never even heard before going to Ethiopia, but this is a minor medical issue that causes thousands of women to be ostracized and left to die. A simple surgery often fixes the problem in just a few minutes and a little education before the problem is created would do even more. (If you have Netflix, I highly recommend A Walk to Beautiful if you want to learn more about this specific issue.) My heart's desire is to meet some of these social needs. But I also know that meeting a social need doesn't do anything to impact someone's eternity. So, we will take the message of Christ's love with us while meeting these basic needs.

I believe that God asks each and every believer to do this on some level. I just think that God is asking us to do this in this way right now. If you have questions...ask them. I am not easily offended and am happy to answer anything. We really are excited about this journey. I don't know where it will lead or how long it will last, I just know that God is asking us to be willing and we are.

More Walking

2011-04-28T20:25:00.000-05:00

For a few days after Kayla took her first steps, she didn't really seem interested in walking at all. Yesterday, after a few physical therapy exercise, I could tell she was interested again and down right determined to do it. At one point, she even went from sitting to standing on her own (a new trick) and then took a few steps to get to me. I was pretty amazed that she could do that and put it all together. I got a couple of video clips of her doing this--one from yesterday and two from today. She took 11 steps at one point today!

Oops...

2011-04-26T20:57:00.000-05:00

So, I've posted a little bit about this before, but Chris and I have been working on our application for foreign missions for a few weeks now. I thought we had to wait until we got an SS number for Kayla before we could apply, but I wanted to get the rest of the application done anyway. So, last night we finished the whole thing and then I hit "next" thinking this would take me to a page where I could review the application but then a little box popped up that said "Thanks for submitting your application". So, I guess that's done! We have now officially applied to become Missionary Associates. It's going to take a while and a lot of work, but we're excited and can't wait to see what God has planned for us and our family. We have found some very intriguing opportunities that would last 1-2 years. We really don't have any information beyond that, but you can be sure that as we learn more over the next year, or two, that we will keep you posted!

Cutest Video

2011-04-23T16:54:00.001-05:00

I realize I have over-posted today, if that is possible, but this is maybe the cutest video ever and must be shared!

Texas

2011-04-23T14:45:00.000-05:00

As promised, here are many photos from our Texas trip. Kayla and I had a great time. I wish Texas were a little closer to Wisconsin!

Erin and Brian with Kayla

Kayla loved this little doggie at our lakeside picnic

Brian swears that it was all the practicing with him that lead Kayla to take her first steps yesterday :)

We tried to get all four babes to look, but it just wasn't going to happen (Lily, Maeve, Kayla & Eli)

Just the girls (Eli didn't sit still for very long)

These four were all adopted through the same agency and were at the same care center in Addis Ababa before coming home with us

Baby girls chatting about something

The zoo really tired Kayla out

Picnic at the zoo (thanks, Joanna)

Beautiful Japanese garden

Petting zoo--Kayla was not a huge fan

At the Stockyards in Ft. Worth. Kayla's a cute little cowgirl and I even tried red cowboy boots on her. I was tempted to but them, but just couldn't justify the $40 for shoes she'd only wear a few times!

Swimming at 6:30 pm at Erin's old apartment complex. It was so warm and Kayla never can resist the water!

It really was a great trip! Kayla was great on the plane--napped for most of both flights. We'd love to make it an annual thing, but we'll see.

Cute hair

2011-04-23T14:30:00.000-05:00

I decided it was time to try a new hairstyle with Kayla. These are called finger twists. You just grab some hair and twist away. It only took about 20 minutes to do her whole head. She sat pretty well through it and it lasted a couple of days. I didn't use any product in it other than Chrissy's Babycakes Body Butter (http://www.babycakesbutter.blogspot.com/) because I didn't really intend to do her whole head. I just wanted to see if her hair was finally long enough to pull this off. She sat so well and it was so easy that I just kept going. It was pretty cute!

Fun Meeting

2011-04-23T14:00:00.000-05:00

Through our adoption I have met many great people. Some are far away...like Texas (boo)...others are not so far away (yea). A couple of days ago, my friend, Kelly, and her two little boys--just home a few weeks ago--came over. It was great to meet the boys and introduce Kelly to Kayla. Adoption is such a wild ride, it is important to have support while you're going through it and once your kid(s) are home. And how fun for our kids to have these friends as they grow up!Gavin and Colton (2)

Colton

Kayla and Aschton (1)

Reily does a somersault

2011-04-23T13:56:00.000-05:00

In case you've been wondering what Reily's been up to since this blog has kind of become all about Kayla, now you get to see. He has learned how to somersault. I love this video because you can see his goofiness and hear his infectious laugh. Oh how I love this little boy!

Kayla's First Steps

2011-04-22T15:37:00.000-05:00

Well, these are almost her first steps. Technically these are steps 5, 6 and 7...!!! I had Kayla stand up and then let go with my hands out (which I've done a million times) and to my utter amazement she moved one foot and then the other. I cheered and hugged her. Then she did it again! The boys came up from downstairs to see what all the commotion was about and I set up the camera and caught steps 5, 6 and 7. Shortly after this, she took 7 steps in a row (twice), but who's counting?!? Go baby girl, go! (Please ignore the frumpy mama and the vaseline faced baby--it was supposed to be a go nowhere, see no one kind of day)

Home again

2011-04-18T20:35:00.000-05:00

home again, jiggity jig.

Kayla and I had an amazing time in Texas and as much as I was ready to come home, I hate that all my friends are so far away again. Pictures will follow in the next day, or two. For now, I'm exhausted and need to crash...

Up, up and away

2011-04-13T19:42:00.001-05:00

Kayla and I are going on a little trip. We are going to visit some adoption friends and one of my college friends--who actually introduced me to Chris and was a roommate for a while. I'm really looking forward to this trip, especially since we'll be in Texas while snow is predicted in WI!

We'll be meeting two friends for the first time--gals who adopted little girls from the same care center that Kayla was at around the same time as us. We all did our best to check in on each others girlies while we were in Ethiopia at different times. I'm really looking forward to meeting these two and getting our girls back together. You can check out their adorable girls here http://madinefamily.blogspot.com/ and here http://texastoethiopia.blogspot.com/

We will also be seeing Heather again. She was on both trips to Ethiopia with us to adopt her son. I am seriously excited to see her and her son. I just can't wait to see his little personality.

I don't know how Kayla will fare on the plane. The last time she was on one was kind of monumental! Hopefully she does well. It's a pretty short and direct flight, so I think it'll be okay. I hope she loves the sunshine and warmth. I can't wait to get her in some summer clothes. I hope she enjoys seeing all these kiddos again, too. I'd love to think they could remember each other, but they're all pretty young.

My college friend, Erin, is a photographer and a great one at that. She's going to take some great photos of Kayla and I can't wait for that either! You can check our her fabulous work here http://purpletreestudios.com/ (and if you live in Texas and need a photographer she is really, really good)

Well, I have some packing to do and I have to be up before the sun rises. I'm sure I'll have loads of photos to share once we're home. Hopefully Chris and the boys survive in my absence!

Spring

2011-04-10T15:30:00.000-05:00

Spring has finally made it's way to WI. It is 70+ degrees outside and MUGGY! We took advantage of it and did some yard work while the kids napped. We got quite a bit done and found a few surprises along the way.Daffodils just about ready to bloom. I hope I don't miss them while in Texas.

First flower of the season. The white one made it, the purple one didn't.

Nope, we don't have waterfront property, but each spring this "river" returns. The boys love it.

A little bit of snow desperately hanging on.

First Picnic

2011-04-07T19:56:00.000-05:00

Yesterday it was nice out. It was about 55 degrees and sunny. I picked up a pizza and the kids thought it would be fun to have a picnic in the driveway, so we did! If you don't live in WI, you may think we're nuts, but we're so sick of winter we did not mind picnicking next to the snow banks. We've decided winter is done even if it is hanging on for dear life. DONE.

Egg Tree

2011-04-07T19:52:00.000-05:00

One of our neighbors decorated an outdoor tree with plastic eggs. The boys loved it, so I figured we could do the same. I won't say it was peaceful or loads of fun, but the tree looks cute and I got some good pictures.

This is Reily's "crazy face" according to him. He's a goofy boy.

Do you know...

2011-04-06T15:36:00.000-05:00

what you were doing a year ago today? I do! I went to work. I came home so that Chris could go to work. My kids were napping and I was preparing to teach a Bible study group that evening (it was a Tuesday). Then, my phone rang. It was our adoption agency. I figured they were calling to tell me that our dossier was approved. Nope, the gal on the other end of the line said, "We have a 4 1/2 month old baby girl for you". I said, "You have a what? Really?" And, that was that. I opened my email frantically and saw some tiny, horrible quality photos of the most beautiful baby girl I had ever laid eyes on (a couple of days later we got this better copy). My heart was stolen. We had a daughter. Wouldn't you have said "yes" to this face? We did.
I called people. I tried to get out of teaching that Bible study (I just was not focused--I ended up teaching it and fortunately the group was very understanding). I finally called Chris at work--I had never done that before and wasn't sure it would be okay. He wouldn't see her face for a few hours, but he was in love once he did, as well.

It's hard to believe that was a year ago today. Sometimes it seems like yesterday and sometimes it seems like a life time ago. Getting her home was a long, arduous, nine month process. Now that she's home, it seems like she's always been here and those nine months are a distant memory. I cannot imagine my life without Kayla...or hers without us.

She's come a long way (physically, geographically and developmentally) in just 12 months. I love you, baby girl, with ALL my heart!

(ETA: If you don't remember what you were doing a year ago today, don't worry. Chris didn't have a clue either!)

Quick update

2011-04-05T21:19:00.000-05:00

No cute pictures or videos, but here's a quick update on the Meehanfive:

We went to the Dells again. This time we had no puking kid. Yea!

I found an incredible missions opportunity for our family and we are excited about this possibility. When I know more, I'll definitely share more, but for now we're just praying about it.

Reily learned how to do a somersault and he's very proud of it. I should post a video of that, but right now I'm too lazy to get up and get the camera. He is also in the phase where he talks non-stop (help me, Lord!). Fortunately, he's a funny boy, so he says many funny things.

Gavin is still Gavin. Full of charm and attitude. He's doing great in 4K and is really ready for kindergarten in the fall. I don't know how ready I am for that change, but I've got a few months to get there.

Kayla is standing on her own more and more. She still hasn't taken any steps, but she's getting braver.

I am wrapping up my final week at the church. It's a bittersweet finish. I still do bookkeeping from home, but I will have no more office hours at the church I have worked at for the past 4 years. It is weird to just be done after the level of involvement I had this past year while we were without a senior pastor, but I know that it's the right move--most days I know it anyway.

Chris' grandfather passed away and we will be heading to that funeral this coming weekend.

That's it, I think.

Small miracle?

2011-03-30T21:34:00.001-05:00

I forgot...when we were in Ethiopia for court we noticed that Kayla did not use her legs at all. Then we met with her doctor and he informed us that she had "no use of her legs" and that they were very concerned about this and had run tests to see if she even had muscles developing. We honestly left Ethiopia not knowing if Kayla would walk. We had high hopes because after just a few minutes of playing purposefully with her legs, she started to respond, but we just didn't know.

When we went back in December and put Kayla on the ground we were amazed that she would stay up on her hands and knees. Imagine our shock when she started crawling!

Now that we've been home three months, it's hard to remember how far she's come sometimes and not get irritated with how far she hasn't come. She's 16 months old and still not walking and she has very low muscle tone in her legs and stomach, so walking is a ways off yet. I would like to just be able to say "YES" to the 20 people a day that ask me if she's walking yet (okay, it's not really 20 a day, but it feels like it sometimes). I would also just like Kayla to walk and so I get frustrated sometimes with her lack of progress because I forgot.

I forgot that Kayla had no use of her legs just 5 months ago and that we did not know if she would walk. Last night I took Kayla to church with me to drop off the boys and someone noticed her progress and reminded me. This man who used to be in the Bible study group I led while we were waiting to go get Kayla said, "Wasn't she not supposed to be able to do that?" Do what, you ask. Just look. Look what my baby is doing these days!She is standing on her own for up to 30 seconds at a time and she is SO proud of herself when she does it. Tonight we started working on getting her to understand that she has to move her feet and she thought about it, she really did. It'll take a while for her to take that first step but I know, I KNOW, that she will. I don't know if this is a miracle or not, but it feels like one to me.

SOOOOO cute

2011-03-27T15:10:00.000-05:00

Kayla is fun to photograph. She has a personality that is as cute as she is and she is such a happy little girl.

I just love the above picture of Kayla. She is such a goofball and she knows it!

More Children's Museum shots

2011-03-27T15:07:00.000-05:00

These shots are from the CM in Stevens Point.

Don't be jealous. They played well together for about 1.5 minutes.

These two, on the other hand, could play together for hours.

Every time Kayla caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror she thought it was great. I think she is starting to understand just how cute she is! Oh boy...

Kayla loved playing with the magnets. I think she handed me the giraffe at least 50 times.

Climbing is highly encouraged by Kayla's physical therapist. You can just see the frustration and effort that she's putting in to get up the little ramp.

She made it!

My boys

2011-03-27T15:04:00.001-05:00

When Chris and I were going to Ethiopia to meet Kayla I took some video clips of the boys singing to her so that she could see them in action. Reily accidentally fell down in one of the clips--his feet just slipped right out from under him. At the time, we made it a funny thing so he didn't get upset. Now, they think it's hilarious to replay that scene.

This clip was recorded this morning and I love it for a few reasons. I love their goofiness. I also love that Reily is about 10 seconds behind in picking a song and that he is completely oblivious to the fact that Gavin has already started a completely different song--you can watch his face and just see his mind working. I'm not sure why Gavin just sings the word "twinkle" over and over, but I suppose he was concentrating more on his awesome upcoming "fall" with eager anticipation than on song lyrics. These kids crack me up.

Oh, Reily...

2011-03-27T14:57:00.000-05:00

Reily is a child that marches to the beat of his own drum and no one else can hear that drum or even begin to imagine what it might sound like. He keeps us all on our toes because if something isn't just right, he reacts and it's not always lovely. The older he gets, the more he's settling down though and I love that. Now he is problem solving without throwing a tantrum or demanding us to jump into action.

Today, he ran out of the socks that he likes best. We have at least 20 other pairs, but they weren't the type he likes. A couple of months ago, this would have led to an UGLY scene. Instead, I caught Reily running into our room with two napkins. I informed Chris that he'd better check into that because it's odd behavior and who knows what Reily could be up to. Chris came back to report that Reily had a perfectly logical explanation for the napkins. He was going to turn them into socks since he was out of the type that he liked. And, he did. He went to church with napkins wrapped around his feet inside of his shoes. This boy makes me smile!

Yep, they're held in place by stickers. I'll bet that felt great all through church!

Three month post placement

2011-03-27T14:42:00.000-05:00

Kayla has been home just shy of three months, so we will be having another post placement visit tomorrow. We have to turn in photos of Kayla so that the powers that be in Ethiopia can follow up with her. We love this requirement, but sometimes it's a bit tricky to get the right photos--especially the one of the whole family. We tried!
We remembered to have this taken while my brother was over, but we snapped it quickly as the boys were on the way out the door to swim lessons (hence the crazy shirts). Kayla's not smiling and Gavin's face is partially cut off, but it's as good as it gets with three kids.

And this photo and HUGE smile should make up for the lack of smile in the family photo!

Such cute kiddos

This was my favorite outtake photo. It so clearly shows my kids' personalities. Reily (left) is always a second or two behind on knowing what's going on. Gavin (right) is obstinate--to put it nicely. Kayla (center) is always wondering what's going on around her and paying close attention. I adore these three.

Happy Birthday

2011-03-27T14:39:00.000-05:00

Chris turned 32 this past week. We had a little birthday dinner to celebrate. It's always great to spend time with family.

Crazy Weekend

2011-03-23T20:26:00.000-05:00

This past weekend was a bit nuts for us. We started off by having lunch in Eau Claire to celebrate my Grandma's birthday. Kayla got to meet quite a few people from my extended family. After lunch we took the boys to the Children's Museum in Eau Claire. Chris ran after the boys and I just stayed with Kayla in the toddler area--I had the camera so there are plenty of photos of her.
Kayla had a great time climbing around. She went over this bridge about 15 times. It was tough to get up, but she had fun sliding down.
She tried to climb up the slide, too. That didn't work.
Climbing in and out of the little boat was equally entertaining.

After Eau Claire, we piled into the van and headed to a friend's house north of the Twin Cities. It was great to see them.
Saturday we visited Como Zoo with two of my cousins and their families--LOTS of kids, included. This zebra was the best part. He pooed in front of us, proceeded to sniff it and then took a bite. We left the zebra alone after that.
Before heading home we made a stop at the Science Museum. The kids had a great time and slept a good chunk of the drive home. It was a crazy weekend, but a good weekend.

Kayla, Kayla, Kayla

2011-03-23T20:02:00.000-05:00

This video is a little bit long, but I almost never post videos, so I figure I can get away with it! Kayla has been learning so many new things lately. She says a lot and does quite a few signs. Her newest word is book. Of course, it doesn't sound like book, but I know what she means and as you'll see she tries very hard to say it. She is such a happy little girl...enjoy!

March update

2011-03-17T20:08:00.000-05:00

Well, I figured I'd better post some photos before people got too bored with nothing but words. I got my memory card out, got ready to upload some photos and I found 2 for the entire month of March. I guess being seriously sick for over two weeks has stinted my photo taking. Fortunately, we're all on the mend--finally!

Anyway, here's what I found:
We have several deer in our backyard quite often and turkeys almost daily. It's fun to see them so close and the boys love to spy them. They always insist that I take photos. I don't know how many photos I want of random deer and/or turkeys, but once in a while I oblige the boys. So, one of my two March photos is of a deer in our backyard. Lame.

Here is the other:
Roth, our oldest foster boy (from many years ago), got a new suit and insisted that his mom bring him over so that he could show me. He looks so handsome and grown up! He was so tiny and immature in every way when he moved in with us at the age of 9 (see comparison photo below). Now he's almost 17 and it is hard to believe that he is that old and can look this mature.

Roth is on the right. And, I'm going to stop thinking about this picture now before it totally derails my evening...

Because it made me laugh...

2011-03-11T13:41:00.000-06:00

A friend posted this on facebook today and it made me laugh. Enjoy!

Sick Kids

2011-03-11T13:25:00.000-06:00

Having sick kids sucks. There's really no other way to put that. Fortunately for me, I really haven't had sick kids very much. Gavin was never sick as a baby or toddler. He projectile vomitted once as a baby and then had a case of the pukes when he was about 4--that one was gross and all over the house. Reily had one cold as an infant and that was about it. We've had the standard coughing/runny noses, but nothing terribly miserable--certainly nothing that kept us housebound for more than a day or two.

Well, two weeks ago (when we were in the Dells, of course) Reily got sick and threw up a lot in the night. It was preceeded by a terrible cough. Fast forward one week...I have the cough and a terrible sore throat. This lasted about 5 days and just as it started to get better Gavin and Kayla developed the cough. Then, I got the head cold. I can't breathe. I keep sneezing and it hurts. Gavin coughed so much last night that he threw up. Reily is still coughing like he'd like to lose a lung. I thought Gavin had pinkeye, but I honestly think he just coughed so much that he looked like death warmed over. Kayla is coughing and has a runny nose (again!).

Yesterday, Kayla was whining during naptime. I went in her room to scold her and lay her back down and found her covered in blood! I just screamed for Chris. Her whole face was covered and there was a good sized pool in the crib, too. He took her and cleaned her up (thank GOD I am married to a nurse) and I cleaned up her room. He quickly found the source of the blood--just her nose--but this freaked me out! The best part was that she didn't even seem to notice or mind. She was just smiling away--probably thinking she pulled a fast one on us being up from nap so early.

Today, the kids are all still sick. They sound horrible. We're not leaving the house. I feel trapped, but I'm too icky feeling to do anything anyway.

Yes, having sick kids sucks (especially when mama is sick, too). Here's hoping Chris doesn't get whatever this is because we all know that having a sick husband might just be the worst yet.

Heavy Thoughts

2011-03-07T21:13:00.000-06:00

I rarely post my heavy thoughts here and when I do, they never draw comments, so that makes me think people would prefer to see pictures of my beautiful kids than to learn what it is that I'm thinking about (and who can blame you, they are seriously cute kids), but tonight I'm writing what's been on my mind anyway. There will be no cute photos accompanying this post, so you can just stop reading now if that's all you come for! No offense taken, I promise (I won't even know).

Not all that long ago I came to the tough realization that I don't really enjoy my family. I think most people end up here at some point, but it was killing me. I was feeling really unhappy and down in the dumps. I honestly started wondering if I was suffering from depression, but that just didn't seem to fit. I am very good at analyzing myself if I just take the time to do it, so I took the time and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn't enjoy my family. I was in survival mode. You know...how long 'til nap time, how long 'til lunch, how long 'til bed time? Those were my thoughts--just get through the segments of the day and then the next day is the same thing all over again. Except, I don't want to live that way. So, since I came to this realization I have been doing my best to enjoy my family, at least for part of each day. Trust me, I'm still in survival mode quite a bit--I have three kids under the age of 6 (one who constantly has to be in charge, one who has had a negative reaction to our adoption and one who was adopted internationally). Sometimes, survival is the best I can do, but I'm working on it. I don't always want to be in survival mode. I want to enjoy Gavin and his creativity. I want to enjoy Reily and his stories. I want to get to know Kayla better and enjoy her social, playful personality.

Speaking of...I have hit yet another realization when it comes to Kayla. I finally have the love for her that I have for my boys. It's nice. I struggled with her baby-ness for the first two months that she was home. I didn't want a baby. Her baby-ness annoyed me and seriously wore on me. I think it's a big part of what pushed me into constant survival mode. I have decided that I need to embrace her baby-ness. This too shall pass and we are truly fortunate to have gotten her at this age so that we have more time to get to know her, influence her, overcome attachment issues, etc... I am doing my best to just adore her and give her the best part of me. She is a remarkable little person and I'm really enjoying her. She is amazing--such a resilient little person, so strong and so pleasant. She is a baby, but she is a great baby. She sleeps through the night, she uses the toilet, she eats anything we put in front of her, she does her absolute best to communicate with us and she'll even play alone for a few minutes. I honestly don't think babies come much better than her. I am in love (most of the time)!

As for Chris, I also want to figure out how to enjoy him. That's going to be a little tougher to figure out. I have loads of time with my kids, but time with Chris is very limited. Still, this should be my number one goal, so I'm trying.

Okay, so those are the heavy thoughts. Not so bad, right? I'm glad I realized these things. I'm sure I'll slump back into survival mode in my lifetime, but for now I'm glad to be crawling out of that hole. It's better than not surviving, but barely.

Some not so heavy thoughts...I'm headed to Dallas! Kayla and I are going to Dallas to see old friends, new friends and to meet some online friends. The adoption world is a small and very connected one. There are many wonderful people who walked through our adoption with us and they were a wonderful support through the process because they fully understood what we were going through. The person I connected most with online lives in Dallas. She adopted a little girl just one month older than Kayla right around the same time that we adopted Kayla. We were stuck in the process together and communicated a lot. We had hoped to meet in Ethiopia, but since that didn't happen, I decided to go to Dallas. Added bonuses are that one of my best friends from college recently moved to Dallas, so I get to see her too. And, the woman that traveled with us for both Ethiopia trips to adopt her little boy lives about 1.5 hours from Dallas and we'll also be able to spend quite a bit of time with them. We may get to meet one other adoptive mama and her little girl--this mama checked in in Kayla for me while we were stuck in adoption limbo last summer/fall. It's going to be a crazy trip, but wonderful. I can't wait. I just booked my ticket tonight--which I was able to get with airline miles thanks to two round trip flights to Ethiopia! Kayla will be joining me since she still flies free and I can't wait to get all these kiddos back together--they were all at the same care center in Addis. How fun to keep that connection for them! So, if you're disappointed in the lack of photos in this post, I can guarantee you that after that trip, there will be enough to make up for it!

February photos

2011-02-27T14:13:00.000-06:00

Playing with her doll

SO cute

Reading her favorite book

Paxton and Kayla playing and loving

It doesn't look all that great in a photo, but the doro wat I made and the injera we brought home from Ethiopia were delicious!

Kayla is constantly making this face--sometimes just because she wants a kiss and sometimes because she's been caught doing something naughty, but it is always cute

We got to spend part of the weekend and the Kalahari in WI Dells with my whole family

Still SO cute--everywhere we go people tell us, like we don't know!

One GREAT grandpa

I'm so glad all my kiddos love the water

And a great dad

At the arcade

Kayla and I had some time today without all the boys, so I put little knots in her hair--mostly just to see if I could now that it's an inch long. I also painted her toenails pink

Ethiopia

2011-02-23T14:48:00.001-06:00

I miss it. I want to go back. If someone were to give me a good reason, I would pack my bags and my family up right now and be gone. If you think I'm nuts and you don't get it, I'm not sure I get it either, so that's okay. I can't explain it. I have visited at least 20 different countries and I have loved many of them, but none have affected me like Ethiopia has. I don't want to go back to adopt another child. I'm not sure we'll ever adopt again. I just want to go back. I want my children to experience Ethiopia. I want Kayla to know her first culture. I want a simpler life for my family. (I also want to be done with snow, so that might be part of it!). I just want to go back. To visit, to live, whatever. I want to go back. I miss it. Give me a good reason, please?!?

We have a few more medical appointments for Kayla coming up soon. If everything continues to go well and her health continues to look great, I truly believe we'll start pursuing foreign missions this year yet. I am SO ready. It's going to be a challenge and it's going to be uncomfortable, but we are ready to take this challenge on--or at least to get the ball rolling. I doubt we'll end up in Ethiopia. As Chris said, "I'd go, but it would take a miracle." Well, God does sort of happen to be in the business of miracles, so I won't say it'll never happen either. Here's hoping!!!

Toilets

2011-02-15T09:45:00.000-06:00

Ugh...we recently discovered that one of our toilets was leaking into the basement. So, we're in the middle of having that issue resolved. I hope to have the toilet back up and running this afternoon (well, I hope the guy we hired has it back up and running!). Here's what the lovely bathroom looks like now...the hole goes all the way into my basement office, of course. Lovely.

And in better toilet news, Kayla really does use the potty--as long as I'm willing to put her on it. After nap yesterday I decided to just put her on once an hour and she peed in there 3 times and stayed dry until bedtime. I sort of think it's crazy, but someone else did all the initial work, so I'd be an idiot not to take advantage of that. I will at least put her on it regularly enough that she doesn't forget what to do on the potty. Maybe (BIG maybe) we'll be done with diapers inside of 2011. Wouldn't that be great? Oh, but then what do I do with all these cloth diapers...? Definitely a problem I'll be happy to solve!

Today (& some other stuff)

2011-02-13T21:37:00.000-06:00

Today was gorgeous! The thermometer hit 50 degrees and the sun was shining. After naps, I decided I needed to get outside so I took all three kids for a walk. We wore our rain boots! It was great to see so many puddles out there...the snow is melting. Perhaps Mr. Groundhog was right. I'm not counting on it, but I'll enjoy this weather while I have it. I'm sick of winter, being stuck inside and having to bundle up 3 kids anytime we do try to get out.

I think Kayla really enjoyed it!

The boys found plenty of puddles to splash in.Reily insisted on riding his new bike that Grandpa Rick got him for Christmas.

Gavin has been asking when he'd get to feed Kayla since before she even came home. For bonding purposes, Chris and I have chosen to be the only ones to feed her...until this weekend. The boys decided that Kayla needed some chocolate pudding just like them, so I told them they could give her a couple of bites. She loved it!

We LOVE visiting Children's Museums. Every year, my kids get money for Christmas from some of my relatives. We put it into savings and use a portion of it to buy a Children's Museum membership that gets us into all of the Children's Museums in the country and we use it a lot. So far in 2011, we have visited 3 of them. Unfortunately, we forgot our camera for the first two, but this weekend I remembered it, so here are few pictures (we were in Appleton).

We put Kayla in this area, but she just kept putting the bits of rubber in her mouth.Kayla crawled right up those stairs!My little firemen She was giving me kisses through the window. She has gotten so affectionate lately.

Just because she's so cute!

For the record, the Children's Museum in Appleton is our favorite so far and we have been to lots. Also, for about $10 more, you can get a membership there that not only gets you into all the Children's Museums but also all Science Museums. It's a great deal if you like to visit these places as much as we do.

Stuff

2011-02-12T19:58:00.001-06:00

So, we were told that Kayla was put on the potty a few times a day while in Ethiopia, but didn't even ask questions about it because it seemed so far fetched. Well, tonight I put her on the potty and she pooped. Is that normal for a 15 month old? It took forever to get my boys to poop on the potty. I don't think we're starting a streak here, or anything like that, but it's nice to know she can and I'll put her on there as often as I can beat her to it! I HATE poopy diapers.

____________________________________

Another adoptive mom posted a link to the following youtube video about things people often say to adoptive moms. If you're any adoptive mom, it's worth watching. It'll make you laugh and shake your head in disgust. If you haven't gotten all/many/some of these comments yet, you will!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mm9b6C9hBZ4

So FUN!

2011-02-10T13:47:00.000-06:00

Today, I got a really fun email and it was completely unexpected. A while back (June to be precise), we learned that Kayla had been hospitalized with bacterial meningitis. I reached out online to other moms with kiddos in Ethiopia and one mom, in particular, was really helpful through that time. Oddly enough, I believe that her child is the one that infected my child, but it means that she had been through the same thing with her little baby and she was so supportive and encouraging. Well, we made a connection and have kept in touch over the months of waiting and transitioning these kiddos into our homes. Recently, she received a photo of Kayla that was taken in May by another mom who was in Ethiopia then and she recognized Kayla and sent me the photo. I LOVE IT. This is a piece of Kayla's history we wouldn't have had if not for the internet and the great adoption community that exists.

Thank you, Anna. This type of thing is priceless (as you know!).
Kayla being fed by her nanny at about 6 months of age. We previously had no photos from this time period.

GROSS!

2011-02-03T19:48:00.000-06:00

So, I don't know how I got so lucky, but I made it through my first two babies with no, absolutely zero, blow out diapers. Not so lucky this time around. Ugh. I could have lived without that experience, thank you very much.

On our way home from my aunt's house tonight Kayla was very whiny in the car--normally she's just fine. When I went to get her out of the car, I could smell why. Then, I picked her up and I could feel why...all the way up her back (ew, right?). I carried her to the bathroom, stripped off her pants and realized it was all over those too. So, I started the bath and put her in--onsie and diaper still on. She started crying--the water wasn't as warm as I expected it to be (oops). I washed her up when it got warmer, head to toe, lotioned her like crazy, got her in her jammies, fed her a bottle and put her to bed after some rocking. She's just fine and sleeping soundly. I still can't get that grossed out feeling to go away. Honestly, yuck!

One Month

2011-01-31T12:00:00.000-06:00

Well, we've been home exactly one month today. It's been an interesting month!

We celebrated Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, threw a little birthday party for Kayla and had many friends and family members over to meet our little lady. We have enjoyed many meals from friends who chose to bless us in that way. Kayla has received more gifts than we know what to do with. We've been to church twice. I had to take Kayla (and the boys) with me to work one morning. We have played, slept, worked, bonded, gotten sick, etc... Like I said, it's been an interesting month! I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Kayla is a great addition to our family. I don't really feel like adding her has been a huge adjustment. Sure, we've all had to adjust, but it hasn't sent us into a tailspin or anything like that. For the most part, Kayla just fits. And, she's doing great!

Every day she exhibits some newly learned "trick". We are thrilled with her progress. Just three months ago we heard that she had no use of her legs. A couple of days ago, she started walking behind a toy and along the furniture--and she's very proud of herself, I might add. She has learned quite a bit of sign language and is even answering questions with it. Just yesterday, Chris asked her if she was hungry. She answered with the sign for "eat". That means she understood the question completely AND knew the answer. Being able to communicate with her is wonderful. I'm not sure how much English she understands, but she seems to get more and more everyday. Little brains are so amazing. Hers is particularly amazing to me. She has started giving affection without anyone asking for it. It's her choice. I LOVE that. She is back to two naps per day and still sleeps through the night. For the most part, her attachment seems to be going very well. We haven't had to stay home as much as I thought we'd have to, but we're still the only ones providing care for her and we don't leave her with anyone else yet. All in all, I'd say she's doing great! I'd give her an A. I'd give me a solid B+. Chris always lives in A+ land, well except for when I'm sick (for the 2nd day of that he gets a C-). Gavin gets an A (he's doing great, but drives me a little nuts with always wanting to be close to her, so no +). Reily is going to get a B+. He lost his place as the baby and we knew he'd struggle more than Gavin, but I expected him to operate at about D level, so a B+ is great! We'll take it.

Month one has been good. I hope the rest look like this.

The truth about love

2011-01-30T20:01:00.000-06:00

Well, the truth as I know it anyway...

Love...I was always taught that you have to love everyone--it is what Jesus asks of us. Loving everyone may not seem like a natural thing. If I don't know you, how can I love you? But, love is a choice. It is not a feeling. So, I choose to have love for everyone. Yes, everyone. Then, there is another step called unconditional love. This means that you love someone no matter what, really...no matter what and just the way that they are. Of course, there's the feeling of "in love", too. And, that's all that is, a feeling. It cannot be trusted, relied upon or used to make decisions. Feelings are fickle. True love is a choice and has nothing to do with feelings.

Like...Now, I was also always taught that you don't have to like everything about someone or like someone all the time in order to love them. I am SO glad my parents taught me that at a very young age. Knowing this gave me a lot of security and now allows me to be honest with my kids and my husband about my feelings without worrying about permanently damaging them.

Love vs. like...Personally, I think it is MUCH easier to love someone than it is to like them. If I love someone, I want the best for them. I want to see them succeed and be happy. Right now, I can't think of anyone that I don't want that for. Even if I dislike something about someone or everything about someone, I still want them to be happy--just maybe away from me. Liking someone is not quite as easy. Grudges, hurt feelings and snap judgments all come into play. Liking someone is still a choice, but I think it's tougher to convince yourself that you like someone than it is to convince yourself that you love them. Not wanting to be around someone that you don't like is a whole lot less damaging than wishing someone ill that you don't love.

Now, you might think I have things completely backwards, but I like the way I think and I'm sticking to it. And here's why...

In my life, this works. I love my husband. I will always love my husband. This is a choice I made when I said "yes" to his marriage proposal and confirmed when I said "I do" at our marriage ceremony. But guess what...I don't always like him (and this works both ways, trust me). And, you know what? That's okay. He has come to understand that just because I'm upset or angry, I'm not thinking about leaving him or divorcing him. I still LOVE him, I just don't like him right now. This works for us.

When we had a child with RAD (reactive attachment disorder) living with us, we taught him the same concept. Now, it took him a little longer to "get it" than we would have liked, but eventually he did. In the early days, if he got into trouble he literally asked if he should go pack his bags to move out. This kid had been abandoned over and over and over, so you can see why he'd jump to that conclusion. Teaching him that we would always love him even when we didn't like his actions or his attitude was priceless. This child was predicted to not have the ability to attach, but he did. He loves us. He is still attached to us. Want some proof?
Parenting is tough. Acting in a loving way towards your children all the time is IMPOSSIBLE. Okay, maybe not for you, but it is for me. I am glad that my kids know that I love them NO MATTER WHAT!!! Even if I yell or punish or just have to disappear to my room for a few minutes to cool down, they still know that I love them. I'm glad for that. Kids need that security. They need to know that they are loved all the time.

So, how does love progress? It's different with everyone, in my opinion.

With my husband, I had that general love for him that I have for all people. Then, I liked him. Then, I was "in love" with him. Then, I committed to love him unconditionally for the rest of my life.

With our first kiddos, I fell head over heals in love with the younger boy. The being "in love" with and the unconditional love were there instantaneously. The liking came and went--as it does with everyone else. The older boy (the one with RAD) presented a few unique challenges. I loved him, but was definitely not "in love" with him. That took a long time. I had unconditional love for him immediately, but I had to show it differently.

With Gavin, everything came all at once. He was so sick when he was born and he needed me so badly. I loved him, I liked him, I was "in love" with him immediately and the unconditional love was there, as well. With a child, that just doesn't seem like a choice to me--like it did with my husband.

Reily was a different story. I loved him--it is a choice. I did not like him very much. I had unconditional love for him. I was not "in love" with him. It took months. I remember looking at him one day, though, and thinking "I like you, I really do like you". That was a freeing feeling for me. I had wanted to like him and feel "in love" with him, but for many reasons, that had to develop over time.

What about Kayla? Good question! I love this girl. I longed for this girl. There are many moments where I adore this girl. There are some other moments where she drives me out of my mind and I'd love nothing more than to put her down and walk away for 30 minutes just to take a break. Right now, she doesn't know that my love is unconditional. She doesn't know that I will love her no matter what--even if I don't like her at the moment. She needs to learn that. It will take time. Right now, I'm not even sure she knows what love is. She hasn't had a mommy, she's just been cared for by any woman who walked into the room. She has figured out that I'm "her woman" and she seems to like me. She's starting to show affection of her own free will. Most of the time she still seems well attached after she's been "corrected". Once in a while, she has an extra needy attachment moment, but they don't usually act long and because of past experience, I can see them coming a mile away, so I'm on it! I do love this girl, but I'm not sure I'm "in love" with this girl just yet.

Well, what in the world does that mean? Pretty much nothing. Love is a choice and I love her. I guess what's missing is that warm, fuzzy feeling that comes with new love--that being "in love". Personally, I think way too much importance is placed on that feeling and I don't give it much credit. I would like to feel it more with Kayla and I believe we'll get there, but either way, I love her. I have moments where I am "in love" with her, but not all the time. I guess I expected it to just come all at once like it did with our younger foster boy--almost to be more consuming. I'm not sure why it hasn't, but I'm giving myself permission to feel the way that I'm feeling. After all, keeping my heart out of it is the only way I made it through the trials of international adoption. Plus, it can take me time to permanently attach and that's okay. I have absolutely no doubts that we'll get there.

Why am I sharing all of this? I guess just so that people going through the same thing know that it's okay to love someone without liking them all the time or to not feel completely attached to someone immediately. I mean, typically you don't meet someone of the opposite sex and immediately pledge your undying love to them. Why should that happen with children? Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. And, that's okay. Love is a choice.

Random Ramblings

2011-01-27T18:08:00.000-06:00

Random Thought #1
Tonight is my first night with all three kids and without Chris. So far, so good. Dinner was a little odd, but they ate it, so I suppose that's a plus. For the past three weeks we've had many generous people bringing us meals (and they're not done just yet). Everything has been delicious and way more than one small family can eat in a night so we've had loads of leftovers to enjoy. Well, tonight we didn't eat quite so well because it was all up to me! Kayla had spaghettios with some random veggies mixed in. The boys and I had pizza rolls, chicken nuggets and apple slices. Oh, and peanut M&Ms for dessert. Not quite the picture of nutrition, but they'll live.

Random Thought #2
Attachment parenting is for the birds. We have parented, rather successfully I might add, a child with full blown RAD. It was a tough 2.5 years, but we did it and he attached--not like a completely healthy child would, but he attached. Kayla has a whole different type of attachment junk going on. Last night, she needed attachment parenting but I was exhausted and just not in the mood. Fortunately, we're having a much more in-tune day today and I'm back in the mood. Things are going better. Still, attachment parenting is for the birds. I sincerely hope that by hitting it hard and steady right now, we won't have to deal with RAD later. I'll do it if I have to, but I'd rather just not have to.

Random Thought #3
I loathe children that scream. It drives me CRAZY! Recently, my boys have decided that screaming for no reason at all is a great activity. Well, I made a new rule...any kid who screams for no reason at all gets a 5 minute timeout in their room--no warnings or options, just to the room.

Random Thought #4
I love my kids...even the ones that scream for no reason and the one who needs the attachment parenting. I may not like them all the time, but I do love them.

Random Thought #5
Businesses that screw you over and then don't apologize don't deserve your business anymore. Crossing another one off the list today. Seriously, is it THAT hard to apologize? Note to self: up the making sure kids learn to say sorry, genuinely. Apparently, if I don't teach them no one will and then they'll create more problems like the major one I had to deal with today and won't know to apologize as adults. I'm sorry goes a long way, and it has never killed anyone to say it--not that I know of anyway.

Random Thought #6
Is it bedtime for the kids yet? Nope...one more hour.

Okay, so that's it. Well, all I feel free to share right now anyway. I definitely have more than that going on in my head right now, but I'll keep the rest in there for a while. Seriously random, right?

Baby Girl

2011-01-26T12:56:00.000-06:00

Well, Kayla is much more like a baby than I thought our daughter would be when we applied to adopt. I don't think it's any secret that we thought we'd end up with a child closer to two, but we left it up to God and Kayla is who we got! We are thoroughly enjoying her. It helps that she sleeps through the night and seems to pick up new "big girl" skills every day. In the past few days she has learned to...

Put food into her own mouth (PRAISE GOD!!!!)
Walk behind a toy (sorry for the blur, but she was a movin')
Give kisses (this is the face I get when I ask, "Do you have a kiss for mama?")

She has also learned a lot of new words and signs.
She says...
mama, baba (for bottle), ni-ni (for bed time) and we're working on dada
She signs...
all done, more and eat (mostly more since she eats like a pi
Her receptive language is getting better and better each day and so is the use of her legs.

Here are a couple of pictures we had to include with our first post-placement report.

TOTALLY unflattering, but it met the requirement!

Reily insisted on having this one taken. I think it's sweet (even if she does look like she'd rather be anywhere else and he's totally faking that he likes her that close to him).

Ethiopia

2011-01-25T11:29:00.000-06:00

I know I haven't been posting very regularly lately. Thanks to those of you who still bother to check in. I'll get back into the swing of it, eventually!

Today, I want to post about Ethiopia. I just watched a video that another adopting family put together on why they decided to adopt from Ethiopia. While our reasons are not all the same, the video was very moving and showed many different images of Ethiopia and her people. Ethiopia is a beautiful country. Her people are amazing and her landscapes are to be admired. It is not a dessert--it is not hot all the time. The people are beautiful and kind. The children are happy with so little. I LOVED Ethiopia. I have traveled to many different countries...some that even greatly resemble Ethiopia...but none have made me feel like Ethiopia did. To look at the pictures may not evoke the same feelings for you, but I want to share them anyway. Truthfully, if I were given the opportunity to leave everything (except my family) behind and move there tomorrow, you could not hold me back. I would go. It is no secret that Chris and I want to pursue missions. I don't know that we will end up in Ethiopia, but I would love it!

2 weeks, 2 days and a bunch of photos

2011-01-16T18:13:00.000-06:00

Well, we have been home a total of 2 weeks and 2 days with Kayla and it has been a whirlwind. My original intention was just to stay home with her, keep visitors to a minimum and just work on bonding. Almost none of that has happened! We have been swimming at the Y, to a children's museum and even went to church once. We have had MANY visitors and that has gone very well. We have celebrated Christmas and had a little birthday party for Kayla (we celebrated 14 months since we weren't together when she turned one). The one thing that has happened is that we've had lots of time to bond. Sure, we have our ups and downs, but for the most part, this girlie is very attached to me and is really starting to like her daddy--she loves spending time with her big brothers, but she's used to being surrounded by other kiddos, so that was no surprise. I wouldn't say there is a permanent attachment just yet, but we'll get there.

All in all, things are still going very well--just not as I expected, but that's life! Kayla is sleeping in her own room and she needs to be spoon fed everything. She didn't come home with any parasites, so we're already well into using cloth diapers--so far, so good. However, she did come home with a horribly runny nose and it hasn't stopped since. I'm a little nervous that one day I'll just end up wiping off her nose if this doesn't stop soon! The poor kid has started to whine at the site of a tissue. I think she's as sick of it as we are--maybe more!

Anyway, here are some photos of what we've been up to. The pictures will make it look like we never slow down, but we do. We just don't take pictures of those moments. What fun would they be to look at?

Swimming...we ALL loved it, especially Kayla

Realizing we may be a bit outnumbered!

My sisters, Karena and Charity

My brother, Jacob, and his wife, Jenny
Bath time!!! She loves it

Grandpa Rick (Chris' dad)

Chris' sister, Kelly, and her daughter, Kacey--she likes to give hugs
Mmmm...the cake was delicious AND pretty (made by Auntie Kirsten!)

Kayla eating her birthday cake

Presents--thanks everybody

Mommy's free time is rare, but thanks to this thing I do get some
The brothers help, too

She's turned into a bit of a clown--always making faces and wanting us to copy her. We love it!I think the next two weeks and two days will be a bit slower now that so many people have already met our girl. She still just feels like a great fit to our family and we're loving every minute with her.

"Holiday" Cards & A Year in Review

2011-01-11T09:17:00.000-06:00

We finally got around to sending our our "holiday" cards this year. In my defense, I wanted to wait until we could send a picture of Kayla and I did get them made and mailed within 10 days of getting home with her. So, they turned into "Happy 2011" cards. If you didn't get one, it's not because I don't love you, it's probably because I don't have your address. So, here are the two photos we included.

Gavin, Kayla & ReilyWe also turned it into a little announcement about Kayla's arrival.

She's finally home!
Kayla Habtame Meehan
Born: 11/14/2009, Home 12/31/2010

I did not include a letter, just our blog address, so if you got the card and were just dying for more information about our year, here you go...

2010 was a year full of changes for the Meehan family. It was full of trials and joys, as well. I loved parts and hated parts. One thing I am sure of, I am glad 2010 is over.

Chris and I started off the year by going to El Salvador for a mission trip in January/February. Foreign missions is something that I have always wanted to do and I have participated in many short term trips. Chris thought foreign missions was a good idea, but since he had never done anything like that, he wasn't sure if he wanted to commit his life to it. Well, on that trip, he had a very defining moment and we definitely plan to pursue a stint in foreign missions in the near future.

That was one MAJOR change that came from that trip. Another change was that we decided we needed to speed up the adoption we started in May, 2009. We opted to switch agencies and within days we had a referral for a beautiful baby girl. We had always anticipated receiving a referral for an 18 month old girl who would be closer to 2 when we brought her home. When the social worker said, "I have a referral for a 4 1/2 month old baby girl for you", I said, "You have a what?" Then, I saw the photos and I was IN LOVE!!! Gavin saw the photos and said, "That's not what Kayla looks like." We had always showed him little two-year-old girls with lots of hair. Here was a tiny baby who was completely bald. I just told him that is what Kayla looks like and he accepted it. Chris was at work and I had never called him at work and wasn't real sure how to track him down, so he wasn't even the first person I told, but I did eventually get a hold of him and we both got to be in shock. Then, I had to go to church and teach a Bible study. Fortunately, my group was very understanding--my mind was definitely NOT on the study that night!

That phone call started what would become a huge roller coaster ride. The next 8 1/2 months brought lots of stress, agony, sadness and joy. We quickly learned that we would have to travel to Ethiopia twice under a new rule, but there was no going back since we had already seen her photos and fallen in love. So, we started selling things we didn't need, fund raising and applying for grants. God was so incredibly faithful that we received more than we needed for the 2nd trip and should be able to come out of this adoption with no debt (yippee!!!).

2010 brought some changes for our boys, as well. Gavin turned 5!!! and finished his last year at his preschool and transitioned to a 4k program at the private school where he will attend kindergarten next year. He is loving the new school and doing very well. Gavin is definitely our oldest child and totally acts like it. He is in charge and bossy, but has his sweet moments, too. In all honesty, he's pretty much all me. We have the same temperament. Some times, we butt heads and other times we really enjoy one another because of our similarities. Gavin has been begging for a little sister for a long time, so he was very excited about Kayla joining our family.

Reily started preschool this year at our church and is really enjoying his class. The total opposite of Gavin, he is all Chris! He is our cuddly bug, but also has the temper to go with the red hair! (I don't think that comes from Chris.) He was not quite as excited about Kayla joining our family as Gavin was. I think Reily has enjoyed being the baby in our family and he wasn't quite ready to give that up just yet. Reily turned 4 in November and we had a joint birthday party with his cousin Kacey who has the exact same birthday.

In October, Chris and I traveled to Ethiopia for our first trip. We met Kayla, spoke with her pediatrician about her medical issues and went to court and stood before a judge to declare our desire to adopt Kayla. The adoption was granted and we were thrilled! We did learn some things about her medical issues while we were in Ethiopia that were a complete shock. We were told that she had no use of her legs and that they were unsure if she was developing muscles. Tests showed that there was nothing medically wrong with her, but this was still concerning. She was nearly 12 months old. It was very hard to leave her behind--totally unsure of her developmental health and not knowing when we'd return--but we did it. Then, the real agony began.

Every stage of the adoption game is difficult, but it gets more difficult after you have seen a photo of your child and even more difficult to wait after you have met your child! Eventually, we did get the news that we would be traveling to Ethiopia 12/22 to bring our baby girl home. We were tense until the moment we left, but we got on that plane and landing in Ethiopia was a wonderful feeling. Getting to see Kayla again was amazing! During our first visit she started crawling and we were shocked. No one had told us about her progress, so we surprised--in a good way this time. During our trip we had the opportunity to meet a member of Kayla's birth family. For me, this was especially meaningful. I always knew that I wanted to meet my birth family (and I have). That was important to me as an adopted child. Part of the reason we chose Ethiopia was that we knew we could meet the birth family. It was a very special meeting. I am choosing to keep many of the details to myself for now, as this is Kayla's story. I don't even know when we'll share details with her, but I am so glad that we have details to share!

The second trip to Ethiopia was amazing. The countryside is beautiful and the people are amazing. Truth be told, if I were to find the right opportunity, I would move there tomorrow. I plan to post more about our trip, along with pictures, when I have some more free time.

Everyone is adjusting amazingly well. Kayla is sleeping through the night and eating like a little piggy! Gavin just adores her and can't get enough of her. Reily isn't quite as into her, but he definitely loves her and is doing much better than we had anticipated. Since Kayla is sleeping through the night, I'm doing great. Chris is Chris. Nothing really ever throws him off. Honestly, Kayla just fits with our family. I don't feel like this has been a huge transition or incredibly difficult. She is a total joy and a very happy little girl. She loves to make faces and have us copy her. She loves to laugh and smile and play. Right now, I'm watching her with Gavin just playing in the corner. She definitely loves her mommy and wants to be held most of the day, but once in a while I get a good break--usually thanks to her big brothers! She is bonding well with Chris, too.

2010 didn't bring too much family travel excitement as we were really pinching pennies to cover our adoption, but we did manage to fit in a couple of trips to Wisconsin Dells and other outdoor waterparks with the boys. We made sure to hit up all the children's museums within driving distance and we were able to enjoy a long weekend in Chicago thanks to the generosity of our church for Pastor Appreciation.

Speaking of that...2010 brought another huge change for me. I resigned from my position as a minister at NRC. I felt like I was needed more at home and that's where my ministry needs to be focused for now--with my family. God provided a senior pastor for our church just in time. He started the week I ended and it's going great! I am still doing bookkeeping for three churches in our state and I'm hoping to pick up a few more of those for 2011.

2010 closed with us landing in Minneapolis with our baby girl. We walked through immigration 12/31/2010 and she instantly became a US Citizen. We drove home and introduced Kayla to her brothers and then celebrated Christmas with our family. I can't imagine a better way for 2010 to end or 2011 to begin! We are really looking forward to all that 2011 will bring and I promise to keep you posted. You have to know by now that the Meehans are always in the middle of some kind of adventure and I'm sure 2011 will be no different!

How's it going?

2011-01-06T13:55:00.000-06:00

People keep asking me this question and my answer is always the same...surprisingly well. Honestly, things are going better than I expected and we couldn't be happier. Kayla naps twice a day and slept through the night last night. She's getting really comfortable with Chris and is entertained by her brothers--and does her fair share of entertaining them, too. She seems happy and comfortable with us, for the most part. We're still figuring each other out. She still prefers to be held most of the time. We're still working on getting her to eat more solids. But, she's doing really, really well. The boys are doing much better than I had expected (especially Reily!). I'm a bit sleep deprived, but that's really nothing new. Life is good. I don't know if it'll stay this way, but for now, we're loving it. Kayla has just fit right in to our family--she hasn't rocked our world or created any major drama. She just fits. We've been waiting for her for a long time and I believe that she was waiting for us, too.

Christmas

2011-01-02T15:43:00.001-06:00

Well, we pulled it off! We had Christmas one week late and our kids did not know the difference. Thanks to my family, my plan worked. We got home New Year's Eve and my mom had everything at our house to make our Christmas Eve dinner, so she made it and we all ate it. Then, we opened new jammies and put everyone to bed. The next morning, we opened presents and then my family came back over for our Christmas dinner and more presents. My mom, once again, pulled off the meal and I didn't have to lift a finger. It was a great day. Kayla did very well and seemed to enjoy the company. I enjoyed celebrating Christmas with all three of my kids and I'm glad it's over! Now, time to put away all the decorations...

Christmas breakfast. I think Kayla was feeling a bit "out of it".

All three kiddos in their new Christmas jammies
Opening presents

Stocking time (the boys call them bean stockings--not too sure why)

It was a VERY Merry Christmas, even if it was a week late
(Thanks, mom!)

Photos

2011-01-02T15:25:00.000-06:00

All 3 kids are napping (yep, ALL 3), so I decided I'd take advantage of no one needing my attention and post some pictures! Enjoy...Waiting to see our baby girl after two months apart

She's crawling!!!

SOOOO big

Wearing a traditional outfit for the Christmas celebration

SOOOOO cute

I love this girl :)

I don't think she could be any cuter

Lake in Awassa

Leaving the Care Center WITH Kayla

At the hotel

First bath (well, with us anyway)

Enjoying some outside air at the hotel

Farewell ceremony

On the airplane (she did great!)

We Made It!

2011-01-01T17:08:00.000-06:00

WE'RE HOME!!! All five of us, together. The trip went well. Everything went as planned and Kayla is all ours. We could not be happier (or more exhausted!).

So far, everyone seems to be adjusting very well. I just think it's nice to feel completely content for the first time in a long time. We were able to pull off our Christmas celebrations, as planned.

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers. I will post photos and details of our trip in the near future. For now, we're just trying to stay awake long enough to take care of our THREE kiddos!

Baby, All I Want for Christmas is...

2010-12-22T03:30:00.000-06:00

YOU! So, I'm coming to get you.

Kayla at 4 months--the first photo we saw of her 4/6/10.

Kayla at 7.5 months, July 2010.

Kayla at 11 months--when we went for court 10/26/10.

We are leaving today. It is actually happening and we couldn't be happier. Please keep our travels in your prayers--as well as Kayla and our boys (and my parents--who are watching them). We will be home just in time to ring in the New Year.

Wednesday & Thursday will be spent traveling.
Friday will be spent with Kayla!!!
Saturday will also be spent with Kayla--Christmas with 1 of my 3 kids, at least.
Sunday will be spent traveling South to meet Kayla's birth mother.
Monday, we will return to Addis and take custody of our daughter.
Tuesday, we will visit the US Embassy to make everything official.
Wednesday, we just hang out with Kayla.
Thursday, we get Kayla's paperwork and head home.
Friday, we land in the US and Kayla automatically becomes a US citizen.
We will then head home and begin our lives as a family of 5.

Thank you for celebrating this moment with us. We have felt so loved and supported through this whole process. Here's hoping the tail end goes smoothly!

Tomorrow!!!

2010-12-21T12:01:00.001-06:00

We are leaving tomorrow!!! We will take custody of the most beautiful baby girl in the world on Monday--just 6 days from today. We will bring her home and officially be a family of 5 (again) in 10 days. Tomorrow cannot get here soon enough. I am so ready for this.

2 days

2010-12-20T15:36:00.000-06:00

Two more days. Honestly, I could totally skip Tuesday and jump right to Wednesday. I'm READY!!! We are all packed and ready to walk out the door. I'll spend Tuesday wrapping up loose ends and loving on my boys. But, honestly, I could skip over Tuesday without any regret. I'm ready to go, I desperately want to go but I still can't quite make myself believe that it's 100% for sure that we're leaving. So, if I could skip Tuesday and jump right to Wednesday, I'd just turn off my phone, not check my email, get on that plane and end up in Ethiopia--none the wiser if some bad news did happen to show up.

Two more days. That's it. Then, I'm on my way to bringing my little girl home. No, I'm no where near ready for all the changes that will bring, but I'm ready to take them on as they come and do my absolute best for all three of my kids. I'm ready to start fighting for her health--emotional and physical. I am ready to start working on her development. I am ready to help my boys adjust to being big brothers (especially Reily since this is all new territory to him). I know it's going to be tough and I know it's going to exhaust me, but I'm as ready as any mama has ever been.

Two more days.

Preparation Craziness

2010-12-19T19:36:00.000-06:00

Ok, all you adoptive mamas out there...what's the craziest thing you've done to prepare for your trip to pick up your child? There is a lot on that to-do list and I've been crossing things off left and right. But, tonight I did the craziest thing by far. My sister offered to wax my armpits and I let her. OUCH!!! But, shaving them in ice cold showers isn't much fun either. So, that's done. Weird.

Honestly, there's not much left on the list. We still don't know whether or not we're going for sure, but we're ready to go if we are. After tomorrow, I'll feel a little more confident that we're going if we don't hear otherwise. 3 more days!

Edited to add:

Actually, I just remembered that last night I did something almost this crazy. At about 7 pm, I realized that I had forgotten all about making baby food for Kayla for when we get home. She is quite delayed, so I'm fairly confident she won't be eating regular solids yet. I took my boys out at 7:45 pm to Walmart (blech) and nearly ran into several people with my cart, mostly because they thought that stopping in the middle of an aisle for no reason seemed like a great idea, and bought stuff to turn into baby food. Then, I got home and made baby food. I have pears, peaches, apple sauce, sweet potatoes, peas and green beans all ready to go. Tonight, I've been working on chicken. I can't stand the store bought baby food meat and I have yet to meet one child who will eat the stuff. I KNOW that I will NOT be cleaning that out of cloth diapers--it smells worse coming out than it does going in and going in it reminds me of wet cat food. So, I am making the chicken myself. A Walmart run with 2 kids who should have been in bed an hour earlier was also definitely a crazy adoption trip preparation step.

The Plan

2010-12-18T07:55:00.000-06:00

If you have met me, you know that I always have a plan and a backup plan and quite often a backup plan for the original backup plan. I'm okay when my plans don't work out, mostly because I have the backup(s), but I NEED to have a plan. I function best with little to no unknowns. So, I have a plan for the holidays--and a couple of backup plans, but those will stay in my head unless they're needed!

We leave 12/22 and will be home 12/31. This means that we will technically miss Christmas with our boys. They are 4 and 5, so I feel fairly confident that we can just delay Christmas without them finding out. If possible, I'd really like to hide the fact that we're ditching them over Christmas for their sister that they're already going to resent having in the home, most likely. I'm sure they'll figure it out as they get older, but if we can keep it a secret this year, that would be great. Fortunately, my whole family is on board.

We started our Advent "calendar" a week late. The kids really think that there are 14 days until Christmas. When we get home 12/31, we will celebrate Christmas Eve instead of New Year's Eve. Then, New Year's morning is just going to be our Christmas morning. I figure we'll be up around 4 am anyway, due to the jet lag, so why not?

We will spend lots of time with my family, which will be great because we're going to need some help with our boys considering we'll be tired, probably sick, and will need to provide ALL of Kayla's care--and we really don't know all that will be involved in that just yet.

This is the master plan. Of course, I have my backups for things like flight delays, but I really hope we won't have to deal with all of that. Last night, we did find out that we will get to spend Christmas Day with our daughter. So, at least we'll be with one of our three kids, although I really, truly have wrapped my brain around the fact that Christmas is just a date this year. We all know Jesus probably wasn't born December 25, so Christmas is when/what we make it. Ours will be celebrated 1/1/11.

But, there is still THE day that is called Christmas--the day we're supposed to remember Jesus being born for us. Honestly, I am kind of glad that Christmas Day this year will not be spent focused on gifts and food. Our Christmas Day won't be pretty, it won't be comfortable, it won't be lavish, but it will probably be the best Christmas we've ever experienced and the closest to how God actually wants us to remember the birth of His Son. I will miss my boys, but they will be with family who loves them and they won't know they're missing Christmas Day (hopefully). It will just be another day to them, which is perfect in my mind.

Books & Stuff

2010-12-17T17:34:00.000-06:00

Once in a while, another adoptive parent will post something about a book they've purchased or another item. Lately, I've found myself a total sucker for all things Ethiopia.

In the past 2 weeks, I have purchased this beautiful doll that is based on a little girl in Ethiopia. We have other brown dolls, but oddly, none of them have curly hair. This doll has a gorgeous head of perfectly curly hair and I just got her yesterday. She is available at many stores, but we got her through Target. Her name is Rahel and she is part of a series of dolls. Part of the proceeds from their sale supports World Vision efforts in Ethiopia.
Then, as I was reading through other adoptive parent posts, I came across two recommended books today and I bought them--both from Amazon.

World School Day Adventure (Dora the Explorer). Author, Kellee Riley. Now, I'm not the biggest Dora fan, but it's a book--not an annoying cartoon show--and she visits Ethiopia!
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1442416734/ref=oss_product

The other book looks beautiful, from what I can see. I am excited to see the whole thing.
E is for Ethiopia (Word Alphabets). Photographer, Ashenafi Gudeta, et al.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/184507825X/ref=oss_product

Everything is looking better for leaving in just 5 days. We should know for sure by Monday whether or not we're getting on that plane on Wednesday. I sure hope so!

Edited to include:

I just found this blog with LOADS of great book reviews on it. Definitely worth checking out if you have a beautiful brown child in your home.
http://brownlikemebookreviews.blogspot.com/

No News

2010-12-16T14:08:00.001-06:00

And, no news is good news, right? As far as we know, we're leaving in 6 days to bring home our baby girl.

Investigations

2010-12-14T17:02:00.000-06:00

Just to keep my blog readers (whoever you may be) updated, here is what I now know...

Families are being chosen, completely at random, for investigation. It sounds like the US Embassy looks at the stack of paperwork in front of them for each embassy date (ours is supposed to be 12/28) and just picks some to investigate. There does not appear to be any rhyme or reason for the cases they select and they don't appear to just be investigating cases with red flags.

The investigation will be a physical investigation where the US Embassy sends one of their staff to the area where a child's birth parent, or finder, is from and then they will interview people in that area to determine whether or not the information in the paperwork is accurate. They are just trying to ensure that all adoptions are as ethical as possible.

Obviously, we fully support that measure, but it would have been nice to know about this possibility BEFORE we booked our $4067 worth of tickets and completely rearranged our lives for the next 2 weeks. Of course, we don't know whether or not we'll be selected and we may not know until the day before we are scheduled to leave, but I'd give it an honest 50/50, given what I know.

What does all this mean? Well, if we're picked, we won't be leaving 12/28. These investigations are predicted to take 1-2 months and then we'll have to wait our turn for another embassy date--which our agency only has two of each month. Fortunately, our agency has never had their ethics called into question, so I do not feel that there are any red flags with our case to be found. If there are, paperwork may need to be redone and it could take even longer. Worst case scenario is just that we won't have Kayla home until March, but she should still be coming home.

Of course, waiting until January/February/March would be devastating and rearranging all the details of this trip would be really difficult and very expensive, but I think we'll manage. My heart is what I'm most concerned about. This process has been hard and incredibly disheartening. I'm weary. I don't know how much more I can take.

A friend asked me how she should pray. If you're wondering, just pray for peace to surround our family. Obviously, God could intervene to bring our baby girl home, but so far, He hasn't. So, I've given up asking for that. He knows what I want, but I'm not going to change His mind or His plan, so I've just started praying that I will be at peace with whatever comes our way through the rest of this process.

I'll be sure to keep you posted. Again, we have no reason to think we will, or won't, be selected for investigation. It's just luck of the draw, or un-luck depending on how you look at it I suppose. Definitely keep us, and our baby girl, in your prayers. Living on pins and needles for now.

Ten, Twenty and Two

2010-12-12T07:41:00.001-06:00

Well, we leave in 10 days. I'll be holding my breath all week, I just know it.

Some reports are saying we got as many as 20 inches of snow yesterday and I believe it. I'll have to post a new picture later. The drifts are insane--some up to 4 feet. Yuck.

Church was actually canceled for today. This is the first time I can remember church being canceled in my life. We are supposed to get more snow, the temps are bitterly cold and there is major wind.

Tomorrow is supposed to have a high temp of 2 degrees. 2 stinking degrees. Blech. I want to live some place warmer.

The good news? The weather looks good for the next 10 days, so weather shouldn't stop us from traveling. Of course, things could change, but I'll take it for now. Anything encouraging is worth focusing on!

10 days!!!

Snow and Towels

2010-12-11T10:42:00.000-06:00

Well, in light of the fact that yesterday I could still see the tops of most of the plants in my yard and today it looks like this...
and it's nearly 11 am and my street hasn't been plowed, so I'm stuck at home, I decided to make two of these...
Cuz, don't you hate it when your kids outgrow the hooded towels that they love and the only ones they have in the stores are also too small and at least $20 unless they have devil horns and a tail? Well, I hate that, so I used my "spend $10, get $10 off" coupon at JCPenney to get two big towels and two hand towels for $5 to turn them into these. One blue, one orange. They don't have cute little animal heads on top, but the boys helped to make them, so hopefully that will win them over. Their little buns hang out of the old ones!

And trust me, there will be plenty of this today...
because they're already driving me nuts. There has been wrestling, kicking in the head (no, not by me), and game inventing that rules out the other kid--seriously, Reily invented a game for kids with orange hats not kids with red hats (guess who has orange and who has red!). Did I mention it's only 11 am?

Eleven

2010-12-11T08:41:00.001-06:00

We leave in just 11 days and the "blizzard" today has pretty much guaranteed that I won't get much crossed off my to-do list today for our trip. Good thing I have 10 more days after today! I'll have to post pictures later. I've heard up to 12 inches are coming in today, with blowing drifts. Oh goody...

12

2010-12-10T20:01:00.000-06:00

As per my usual, one down low day and we're back at it. 12 more days until we leave. Keep praying that remains true, please. I'm feeling more hopeful today than I was yesterday.

One Less

2010-12-10T10:01:00.001-06:00

Faces of Adoption from Videos for AGCI on Vimeo.

Oh Lord, let my "one less" come home soon.

Wild Ride

2010-12-09T15:20:00.000-06:00

Adoption truly is a wild ride. We are so close and yet so far away. This is one ride I would like to get off of very soon. My nerves are fried. My brain is tired. My heart has ached. We are scheduled to leave in 13 days, but it ain't over 'til the fat lady sings, folks. Changes to this process are constantly taking place and more changes have recently been announced. I don't know that it will affect us, but I don't know that it won't either (boy, there's some bad grammar in this note!). I won't believe she's ours until I get on that plane with her, hopefully three weeks from today.

Please pray with us that everything goes smoothly from here on out. Please pray that we get to leave in 13 days to bring her home and that she actually comes home with us. I just don't know how much more I can take and while I don't want to focus on the negative, it is always nagging at the back of my mind. So much has already gone wrong and we've already experienced so many delays. I'm just ready to be done and to get on with my life--as a mother to three beautiful kiddos.

That's all...

New paper chain

2010-12-05T16:50:00.000-06:00

Well, this one is starting out much shorter than the last one and we've already taken two off since this picture. The white rings are all the days we'll be gone...it's too many. But, what can you do? Please pray for our boys (and my parents) while we're gone. Our youngest doesn't do too well when we're gone and 10 days is just too long.
Actually, our youngest is already really struggling. From the moment we announced that Kayla is coming home, he has been bouncing off the walls and pushing all the limits. I knew he would react poorly to the addition of a sister, but I didn't expect it to start before we got her home. He has already asked if Grandma and Grandpa can go get her and if she can live at their house instead of at our house. Whenever we watch the video of Kayla, he asks to watch the old one instead of the new one. What's the difference? The old one doesn't have his mommy and daddy loving on Kayla in it. It's just Kayla. So, he does like her and he does want her here, her just doesn't want her HERE here. Too bad, so sad. He'll survive, just like every other kid who has been displaced as the baby in the family, but it may be a bit rougher since we'll be gone for 10 days and when we get back, we'll will be bringing home a child who has more needs than a newborn and can already get into all of his stuff. Yikes! 2011 could be a bit rough.
Still, we're excited and down to 17 days until we leave.

Countdown

2010-12-04T17:43:00.000-06:00

Wow! Our last countdown started at number 76 and I counted down every blasted day. This one started at 19 and we're already at 18. I also just realized that we are leaving exactly two months from the date that we left for Kayla's court hearing. For that trip, we left 10/22. For this one, we leave 12/22. Maybe 22 needs to become my new favorite number. Although, 18 is sounding pretty good right about now. 17 will sound even better tomorrow. This is going to fly by!

FINALLY!!!!!!!

2010-12-03T12:40:00.000-06:00

So, I was eating lunch with my family, trying not to be really upset with the fact that we still had no idea when we would be leaving to bring our baby girl home when I got an email from our social worker.
It was titled "Merry Christmas!" She simply said we'd get to spend Christmas in Ethiopia. At first, I thought she was just responding to my earlier email about the possibility, but then I thought that maybe she knew something I didn't, so I decided to check Chris' email and there.it.was.
We leave 12/22 to bring Kayla home. I screamed, scaring the heck out of my family and then started crying. I can't believe we really get to bring her home. At long last, seriously LONG last (at least that's how it feels on this end).
Tickets are purchased...a whopping $4067 (gulp!). But, we're bringing our baby girl home. We will miss Christmas in the States, but my family is totally willing to pretend that it's not Christmas and to wait for us to get home to celebrate. We arrive home on 12/31, so we will celebrate Christmas Eve on New Year's Eve and Christmas Day on New Year's Day with ALL THREE OF OUR KIDS HOME!!!!!!!!!
Please pray with us, over the next 19 (yep, just 19) days that everything goes as planned and that we are definitely able to travel as planned to bring her home.
I can't believe we are finally almost done with this process. Time for the real fun to begin!

Life goes on...

2010-12-02T06:34:00.000-06:00

Well, I have decided there is no sense in wallowing in what isn't happening in our lives. It is the holiday season and there is a LOT going on, so much to enjoy and be grateful for. We are going to enjoy it if I can help it. The first of many singing performances we'll get to watch this holiday season.

My brother works at the Planetarium in St. Point, so we took the kids for a star show. They loved it.

Chris was entertaining all the kids on Thanksgiving day.

Let the gifts begin!!!

Maeve, Gavin, Molly and Reily.

Every year, we go to the Mead for breakfast on the day after Christmas with family and friends. This year, two of the families we like to go with were only in town for Thanksgiving, so we decided to go on Saturday after Thanksgiving instead. It was fun even if the kids did get a little unruly after a while.

McKenya did her best to keep them from ruining the restaurant. When kids outnumber adults, we may have to skip this tradition.

Our Rotary puts together a light show at the zoo every year. When Chris' mom was here recently, we decided to go and even caught a ride on the horse drawn wagon.

On the wagon, enjoying the lights.

Decorating the tree. Normally we have two, but this year it just seemed smart to do less decorating, so we just have one. I'll be glad when it's time to undecorate.

Not leaving...

2010-11-30T15:09:00.000-06:00

not in 8 days anyway. There is still hope for leaving in 22 days (or so). Honestly, at this point I'd just like to KNOW. Not knowing is probably the hardest part about all of this. We can't plan anything--with the holidays coming, that is tough. I don't know if we'll be here for Christmas or not. True, we could be in Ethiopia with our baby girl over Christmas, but we will be without Gavin and Reily. It's certainly not the end of the world and we'll be thrilled to go IF we get that date, but it's still tough waiting and not knowing. We will know for sure whether or not we leave 12/22 by 12/14. I'll keep you posted!

Our first trip

2010-11-29T02:52:00.000-06:00

I never really posted many details from our first trip. I got up at 1 am today and couldn't fall back asleep. So, I figured I could use the time to post some details on our first trip. I have a feeling this will be very long. If you like to read, enjoy!

We arrived very late on Saturday night (10/23). I was a little disappointed that we couldn't see Ethiopia from the sky at all, but it sure felt nice to be landing in our daughter's birth country. The flights were decent. Neither one of us slept much, but that was okay since it was bed time once we arrived anyway. We got our visas rather quickly and made it through customs without any issues. I found the line to exchange money, which wasn't long but took quite a while, and Chris grabbed our luggage. We quickly found our driver and loaded into the van to head to our hotel. It is a little chilly in the evening (about 55 degrees), so I was glad for my sweater. Since it was late, we really couldn't see much, but I tried to take in as much as I could.

We arrived at our hotel and were shown to our room. The hotel was very nice. We had been warned that the beds were quite hard and that hot water was scarce, but there was plenty of hot water at night and we were so tired that even the hard bed didn't phase us.

I woke up early the next morning and just stared out the window for quite a while. The air is thick with diesel fumes and even though our windows were closed, my eyes burned a bit and watered for the first hour, or so. Our hotel was gated, as is nearly every building, and beautiful compared to many of the surrounding buildings. There were lots of shacks made of corrugated metal with gaping holes surrounding this hotel. There were a few nicer buildings scattered amongst the shacks, as well. There was a woman outside hanging laundry and another sweeping the ground. There were several men walking through the streets and a few random animals. It was Sunday morning, so I suppose the men could have been headed to church.

These two buildings are just across the street from each other.Sunday (10/24) was totally a free day for us. We weren't too sure what the plan was, but we knew that we wanted to get out and explore the city. There was another woman at our hotel who was also adopting through our same agency. Her name is Heather and she is from Texas. She was on this trip by herself and we had connected quite a bit online ahead of time. So, we got up and went down to breakfast hoping to find her there. She was there. We met, talked about our arrivals and quickly made a plan for the day. The hotel concierge was so helpful and called a driver for us. Our driver took us all over the place for a very minimal fee--especially when you consider we could just split the cost with Heather.

After leaving our hotel, we picked up a couple that were in the process of adopting an infant girl. they had decided to stay in between their court date and embassy date, which turned out to be about 6 weeks, I believe. We were all a little jealous of their ability to do that. They were ready to get home with their little girl and were nearing the end of their trip. Our driver just had to take them to where their daughter was staying so that they could spend the day with her.

We first visited the National Museum where they house many Ethiopian artifacts that were interesting to see. Lucy is also housed at this museum. She is believed to be some sort of proof in the link between ape and man, perhaps one of the first that walked upright. Evolution isn't really my thing, but it was interesting to see. After the museum, we had lunch at a great little Italian place across the street. Ethiopia once fell under Italian rule, so there are nearly as many Italian restaurants as there are traditional Ethiopian ones. The Italian food is surprisingly good, too. All the food is surprisingly inexpensive.

After lunch, we headed to the Lion Zoo. Sunday is a family day, so there were many children there with their parents. There is a small amusement park for children at the zoo and a few lions and other animals to observe. I think that we were the main attraction wherever we walked, though. Three extremely white people tend to stand out in Ethiopia. We didn't mind, we just loved seeing all the children with their families. The people of Ethiopia are so beautiful.
The weather was beautiful. The average daily temp was about 75 degrees, 55 at night. It was wonderful being outside amongst the Ethiopian people. Their culture is so very different from ours. The people are so patient and don't seem to feel so entitled. Driving is an interesting experience. Intersections are not nearly as governed as ours are and people have to (gasp!) be considerate of one another and sometimes stop to let someone else in. It was quite refreshing to experience a society that was not "all about me" for a while.

After the zoo, we decided to do some shopping. Our agency planned for some shopping in the next two days, but only about 45 minutes and I wanted to get everything out of the way on this trip for a few reasons, so we took our time, got what we wanted and hardly spent anything. Beautiful, hand crafted items just aren't very expensive. We were able to get many gifts for friends and family and quite a few keepsakes for Kayla for her future. My plan was to purchase 1 thing for each birthday, years 1-18, so that she'll have a great collection when she's an adult. I was able to do this with no problem and might have enough to give her until she's 21! We got some treasures for ourselves and our home, as well. Then, we went to a great coffee shop where Heather and Chris enjoyed the coffee and I bought 15 bags of beans. Outside of the coffee shop, there was a man selling traditional Ethiopian coffee pots. We bought two (one for us and one for Kayla--only one made it home in one piece, so hopefully I can get another on our second trip).
(The fact that there is a beggar in the background of this photo was not lost on us. It was extremely awkward to take pictures as "tourists" in this country--smiling and happy. But having photos with us frowning all the time didn't seem like what we'd want to show our daughter in a few years, so we smiled even though our hearts were very heavy. I think this is the only together and smiling photo we got of us out in public. When we were with her, it was very easy to smile!)

After shopping, we weren't too sure what else we should do. Our driver suggested visiting a Christian Orthodox church. We were all happy to do that. It was beautiful. There were many stained glass windows that displayed the stories in the Bible. There were different chambers, some we could see, some we could not. The ceilings were painted beautifully and everything had some meaning behind it. This is clearly a very traditional and reverent denomination.
After all of this, it was time to pick up the other couple we had met and take them back to their hotel and then we were ready to head back to our hotel, as well. We had opted not to have dinner at our hotel, so after spending some time in our rooms we hired a taxi to take us to a traditional Ethiopian restaurant. There is no table to sit at, you just sit around a large, raised basket. It is cultural to wash your hands before dinner, so one of the staff brings around a basin, some warm water and soap. Eating is only supposed to be done with the right hand. Food is typically served in small piles on top of a piece of injera. Injera is a large, round, flat, sour, spongy piece of bread-like food. We all enjoyed our meal and were able to stay for some of the live entertainment--music and dancing. There was one short power outage while we were at the restaurant (not uncommon in Ethiopia at all). As soon as the lights went out, nearly every person on the restaurant whipped out a cell phone and opened it for the light. It was a little humorous, but maybe you had to be there.
We headed back to the hotel after dinner and were feeling pretty ready for bed. In the 5 nights we were gone, I don't think I slept a total of 20 hours, so going to bed didn't really mean sleep to me, but it was still nice to settle in. I knew that we would be meeting our little one in the morning and really didn't think I'd sleep too well with that on my mind anyway.

Monday (10/25) morning, we woke up and had breakfast at the hotel and then waited for our driver. He picked us up and took us to the office building of our agency where we dropped off all our donations (we had taken 2 suitcases FULL) and sat through an orientation on what to expect, what to do/not to do, etc... Then, we headed out to meet our little girl.

When we got to the care center, we climbed the stairs and took off our shoes--trading them for the care center sandals. Then, we waited inside for them to bring our kids to us. Heather got her little boy first. He came down the stairs and they handed him to her. He just hugged her neck and clung to her. He was a bit hesitant to look any of us in the eye, but he was so precious. We expected Kayla to come down the same stairs, but she was just brought out of a room on the main floor (this is where the baby room is). The nanny handed her to me and I definitely got a bit teary. She was so tiny and cuddle-able. Chris was mainly taking pictures and video. We got to spend about 2 hours with Kayla, fairly uninterrupted, and even got to feed her and then put her to bed before we had to leave.

The Care Center and all their laundry

We had lunch at a golf course. Very nice and again, very inexpensive. There was a random cat looking for scraps. I'm not a big fan of cats at all, but she looked hungry, so I may have dropped a few things on the ground for her. After lunch, we headed to the leprosy hospital where lepers make beautiful handwoven crafts to sell to help fund their care. This was a really interesting stop and quite eye opening into the differences in medical care between Ethiopia and the US. We bought quite a bit here and briefly met some beautiful people. There were even a few cute little kids running around the grounds.
Our driver then took us back to the offices so that we could meet with the lawyer to discuss what would happen when we went to court the next morning. We briefly went over some questions the judge might ask and then our agency's staff went over even more questions with us. It was a little stressful to think about the process, but nice to feel prepared.
Then, we got to see our Kayla again. We were only supposed to have about 30 minutes with her before meeting with the pediatrician to ask about any health concerns we might have. Fortunately, the doctor was quite late, so we got to be with our her for about 1 1/2 hours (this is probably the only time I've ever been grateful to a doctor for being so late!). Finally, it was time to see the doctor and we brought Kayla with us. We asked him questions and learned answers. Some were good, some not so good. She doesn't have any heart problems, which was a previous concern, but her lack of ability to bear any weight on her legs was of much greater concern than we had ever been told. It was pretty disconcerting to only learn this information while we were there, but there's really nothing you can do about it, so we just soberly said our good-byes and went back to our hotel. It was a very quiet dinner at the hotel. I think we were all just trying to process the information that we had been given throughout the day.

Tuesday (10/26) morning, we got up and prepared to go to court. When we got to the hotel lobby, the staff was preparing a coffee ceremony for us. This is a traditional ceremony done for people quite often. Grass is spread over the floor, popcorn is popped, coffee beans are roasted right there and then ground and turned into coffee all while some very strong smelling incense is burned. Unfortunately, we weren't able to stay for the whole ceremony as our driver arrived on time. When it came down to being late for court or skipping part of the coffee ceremony, the choice was pretty easy!
We got to the courthouse a bit ahead of our lawyer, so we waited for him. Once inside, we took an elevator upstairs. We then waited in a large square room with chairs all along the edges. We were the first group to arrive, so we thought we would enter the judge's chambers first. Wrong. Two-three groups went through before us and all appeared to pass. Some were Americans, some were European. Our lawyer was getting a bit antsy by then because he clearly assumed we would get to go first, as well. He finally spoke with the judge and it was Heather's turn to go in! She came out 2 minutes later and had passed and then it was our turn. Walking in there is nerve wracking. Sure, you know what she's going to ask and you have the answers prepared, we even knew that pretty much everyone passes, but it's just so final and not passing is a possibility. After about 2 minutes and maybe 6 questions, the judge announced, "She is yours". And, that was that.

Our schedule told us that we were supposed to do shopping and eat lunch and then have a brief goodbye with our kids several hours later. Our driver, however, asked if we'd like to go to the hotel and then the care center. None of us could figure out why we'd need to go to the hotel (maybe to change?), so we just said we'd like to go to the Care Center. Being able to see our kids, legally our kids, right after passing court was awesome! We got to feed them again and put them down for their naps. It was a great visit and a very positive goodbye.
We then at lunch at a coffee shop that is pretty much identical to Starbucks, did a quick 45 minute shopping stop and got the rest of whatever we wanted and then headed to our hotel to pack and get ready to leave Ethiopia (and our kids) behind. We decided to go out for dinner. The hotel staff recommended a great Italian restaurant within walking distance, so we set out to find it. It took a little longer than we expected, but the walk was great. The restaurant was closed and not set to open for at least another hour, so we weren't too sure what to do, but one of the staff spotted us and told us he'd open early for us. Seriously, the people are SO nice. We had a great dinner and enjoyed every minute of it. Then, we walked back to the hotel. Never once did we feel the least bit unsafe or threatened.

Side note: Night life is a whole different experience in Ethiopia than it is here. We never really got to be among the people, but driving through town at night was really interesting. There are little markets open all over the place and people are out in droves to do their shopping. The same 5-10 stores seem to repeat every 5 blocks, or so. This must be for all the walkers--so they don't have to travel far with what they need. Each store sells something different. One store for meat, one for fruits and veggies, etc... It was very interesting to see this difference between our two cultures. Whenever we want something, we just get in the car, park as close as possible, run into Walmart and get whatever we want from toilet paper to clothing to grapes. They have it all. It is convenient. We never saw any place like this in Ethiopia.

After we got back to our hotel, we quickly showered, finished packing and headed downstairs so our driver could take us to the airport. At the airport, we got on some computers to email home and bought some great children's books in a gift shop. Then, we boarded the plane and headed home. It was a MUCH longer trip home than the one there had been (not in actual time, but it felt like it with the weight of all we had experienced).

Africa and back in 5 days is not something I would highly recommend. It is a whirlwind of a trip and it kicked my butt. It took me days to recover from the travels and the incredible lack of sleep. I could hardly keep my eyes open past 5:30 that first night back. Now, a full month later, I am just aching to get back and bring home the beautiful little girl that we met, adopted and left behind in the 3 days that we were in her birth country. I can't wait to get back to Ethiopia and experience more of the country and see if I love the countryside as much as I do the city. I am looking forward to meeting Kayla's birth mother, though I'm also extremely nervous about it, too. I can only hope that this week, we finally get some sort of travel news. Not knowing when has been one of the hardest parts of this whole journey.

Her name

2010-11-26T19:23:00.000-06:00

I don't know that I've ever posted Kayla's birth name here. Before passing court, our agency had asked that we not post it, but now that she's legally ours, I think I can--for inquiring minds.

Her given name is Habtame. It is pronounced Hob-TA-may (at least that's how I've heard it). We will be keeping this as her middle name once we readopt her in Wisconsin. When we come home, her legal name will be Habtame Christopher Meehan. Once we readopt, she will be Kayla Habtame Meehan. We always knew that our first daughter's name would be Kayla, but never really settled on a middle name. Keeping her given name seems like a perfect idea to us, though. It is the name that her mommy gave her and I want to honor that. It is a way to keep some of her heritage and culture in her life. Also, it not an uncommon name in Ethiopia and if she ever wants to identify more with other Ethiopians, she can always go by her middle name. It means "wealthy woman", but this has nothing to do with finances. It has to do more with richness of life overall--spiritually, family, etc...

So, there you have it. Now you know her name!

Happy Thanksgiving

2010-11-24T14:43:00.000-06:00

That's all. I just hope you have a great one.

No news

2010-11-23T15:34:00.000-06:00

Just in case you were wondering, we haven't gotten any travel news. I didn't forget to tell EVERYONE I know, we just don't know anything. And, this waiting game is for the birds, I tell ya. Every time my phone buzzes from 11am-2pm my stomach jumps a little before I can look to see if it's THE email. Nope, just another ad from Amazon. Boo.

On Monday, we got an email from our agency...not THE email. Today, we got an email from our agency...not THE email. Don't they know that this gives me a small heart attack only to be completely let down when I see the subject line?

Can you tell I am ready for the wait to be over? Guess what? It's not, not even close. Or, is it? I suppose we could find out tomorrow that we leave 12/8. The last possible day that we could get that news would be 11/30...yep, that leaves 8 days to purchase tickets, arrange everything with work, kids, my parents (who are watching the kids) and pack, but I'd gladly do it with one day of notice, trust me. Of course, we may not be leaving until 12/22 (or January or February, really--no guarantees), so we could be waiting a whole lot longer.

Lord, let me get THE email soon and be able to bring my baby girl home soon. I don't know how much more of this I can stomach.

Packing

2010-11-20T13:38:00.000-06:00

I've spent a little time each day over the past week gathering items that I know we'll need for our 2nd trip to Ethiopia for Kayla. Today, I put it all together in one suitcase and she is officially packed. Her stuff takes up an entire suitcase. It is hard to know how/what to pack, really. I don't know what size she is or how many diapers she will need. I don't know what food she might like (if any) or what toys she might be interested in. I promised myself I would only fill one suitcase for her, so it's full and done!

Now, we just wait to see if her packed suitcase will sit around collecting dust for 18 or 32 more days. I suppose I could get packing for myself, too, but I think I'll wait until we know for sure that we're going. Here's hoping that news comes next week!

Chicago

2010-11-16T16:24:00.000-06:00

Thanks to many generous families at our church, each of our staff pastors (including me) received a whole bunch of gift cards and cash to use towards a trip. We decided to go ahead and get one last trip as a family of four (at least I hope it's our last one) in before Kayla comes home. We went to Chicago for three days and two nights and did just about everything anyone could ever hope to do and it didn't cost us a thing. We all had a great time and feel really blessed and loved to have received such a great gift.
Train ride to downtown

Chicago Children's Museum

Ferris Wheel at Navy Pier

Shedd Aquarium (both boys LOVED this place. Yellow Submarine is currently Reily's favorite song and penguins are Gavin's little obsession.)

Medieval Times

Swimming in the hotel pool

Legoland--I think Reily was ready to be done with tourism at this point!

Adoption Decree

2010-11-16T13:05:00.000-06:00

Today we received notification that our Adoption Decree has been issued and received by our agency. This is great news, because this had to happen before we could be submitted for our embassy date--when we will go to bring Kayla home. December is definitely a strong possibility now that we have received this news! Still praying for the 14th. We could find out any day now, but probably won't until next week. Oh, what a Happy Thanksgiving that would be!

Happy Birthday, little one

2010-11-14T06:58:00.001-06:00

Well, our baby girl turns 1 today. While we feel very fortunate to legally be her mommy and daddy and to have met her, it is a little sad that we're not with her today. We do plan to celebrate with her once we get her home and she'll never know the difference (especially since they won't celebrate this day at all in Ethiopia), but it sure would have been nice to just have her home by her first birthday. We've missed so many milestones already, so it's a little tough to miss this big one.

Our solution to overcoming the sadness has been a 3 day trip to Chicago! We have ridden a train, visited the Shedd Aquarium, Chicago Children's Museum, the Field Museum, Medieval Times, there's been some swimming in the hotel pool (and maybe a little shopping) and today, we're having lunch with my aunt and uncle, I'm going to the mall and the boys get to go to Legoland. Talk about avoidance!

I haven't decided whether or not we'll figure out a way to mark this day or if we'll just let it pass and celebrate with Kayla once she's home. I suppose I'll just go with my mood when the moment hits. For now, Happy Birthday, little one. You are very present on our minds and in our hearts today (and every day). We hope to see you again soon!

Our Testimony

2010-11-11T15:35:00.000-06:00

It is Adoption Month and Sunday was Orphan Sunday. We took time during our church service to talk about the orphans in the world and to raise awareness--both of the fact that there are so many orphans and on what people can do to care for the orphan. Fortunately, we have a very adoption minded church, so we get to talk about this throughout the year, too, but this Sunday was especially focused on this topic and I was able to share some of our story...

Many of you know that I have had a passion for adoption and caring for the orphan all of my life. I really think this stems from the fact that I was adopted and I always saw adoption as God’s plan for my life to get me to my family and ultimately, into His family.

I married a man that I knew was open to adoption because not adopting was not an option for me! Early last year, Chris and I knew that the time was right to begin pursuing adoption and we decided that an international infant adoption would be the best fit for our family. We started trying to figure out what country we could adopt from and truly felt led to Ethiopia. We went ahead and started filling out the first of a few mounds of paperwork that would be required and started a process that would take a little over a year and a half to complete.

Just about one year after starting this process, on April 6 of this year, I received a phone call that a beautiful 4 ½ month old baby girl in Ethiopia needed a family. Would we like to review her file? YES! She had some medical concerns, but these were issues that we were comfortable with and confident that we could handle—especially because of where we live! We quickly accepted this referral and instantly fell in love with the little face in the photos.

A few weeks later, Ethiopia completely changed their adoption process and started requiring adoptive parents to travel to the country twice, instead of once. The first trip would be to meet the child and then attend a court hearing to declare an intention to adopt a specific child after having met them. One and half weeks ago, we returned from this trip where we stood in front of a judge and declared our intention to adopt our little girl. At the end of that hearing, the judge said, “She is yours.” The second trip would be where a family would bring their child home with all the proper documentation. We hope to complete this trip in December or January.

When this change was announced, we were all but assured that we would only have to travel once since we already had our referral and our paperwork was well on its way to Ethiopia. But, God had other plans. Remember that volcano in Iceland last April? Well, that caused our paperwork to NOT make it to Ethiopia in time to be translated and so we received news that we would have to travel twice. And as hard as this whole thing has been, I truly do believe that it was in God’s plans for us to travel twice.

This is not a cheap trip. When we started this process, I just assumed that we would cover the finances. God has been so faithful to us in the finance department and I knew that He was calling us to adopt, but I never dreamed that He wanted me to rely on Him for the money to do it, too. My thought process was just that He had been so faithful throughout our lives that we would go ahead and take care of the money. I don’t think He liked that! When we found out we had to travel twice (another several thousand dollars), I just knew that God was going to have to provide for that. And, boy, has He! As soon as we turned that part of our journey over to Him, He chose to bless us again and again and again. All in all, I don’t think we will have to pay more than a few thousand dollars out of pocket for this $32,000 child. God is good! We really assumed we’d be in debt for a few years to follow this calling that God had placed on our hearts. But, through our leaning on God for help in this area, I feel like He has said to me, “You foolish girl. Why would I ask you to do something like this AND leave you in debt?” He’s not, we will not be in debt at all.

I share this for a couple of reasons. The first is that I want everyone to know that adoption can be affordable. Don’t let money scare you away. The second reason I’ve shared this part of our story is that I want to make sure that people know how blessed we have been through this process. God has chosen to bless us with this beautiful baby girl. God has chosen to bless us financially through this process. God has chosen to allow us to be a part of something so much bigger than ourselves. Stephen Curtis Chapman of Show Hope put it best when he said…”I just pictured God pouring out His grace, inviting us to bring another child to stand under it”. How lucky are we to be participants in God’s plan for this little girl?

Adoption is such a wonderful gift. It is a gift to the parents, the extended family and the child—and it is a gift that is hugely on the heart of God—one that He is directly involved with as much as we will allow. I am so glad that we have been forced to allow Him into every part of our adoption. We have been blessed and I know the blessings will keep coming—especially once we get to bring her home!

John 15:5 is a scripture that has come to mean a lot to me through this process. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” With God, I believe that I can do anything, including handle all the road blocks and challenges that have been thrown at me through this adoption. Without Him, I would not have made it this far and would be in debt up to my eyeballs. God is amazing and so is walking in His plan.

To-do List

2010-11-09T22:06:00.000-06:00

Well, realizing that we could be leaving in as few as 29 days to pick up our daughter has motivated me to get moving on my to-do list for trip #2. Of course, we might not be leaving for 69 more days, but since we'll likely have less than two weeks notice, I can't really wait to tackle this list until we get our notice!

Today I made and ordered a photo album for Kayla's birth mother. A huge part of the reason that we chose to adopt from Ethiopia is that it is possible to meet the birth parent. As long as she shows up, which most birth parents do, we will be able to meet her during our 2nd trip. It has been recommended that we bring photos of our daughter to share with her. While it is possible that she won't even recognize the healthy, nearly one year old baby girl in the photos (compared to the very sick 2 month old she relinquished), I want her to have these photos so that she can see how well Kayla is doing. So, I put together an album with around 45 pictures of Kayla--mostly from our first visit.

My hope is that the book brings joy to her mother, though I'm sure some sadness will accompany the joy. There are photos of us holding Kayla. I hope that those bring her peace in knowing that her little girl is loved, but I am sure that part of her will wish it was her holding her baby in the photos.

Meeting my own birth mother was something that I always knew that I wanted to do when I felt I was ready. I was about 20 when I felt ready and I was as ready as any adopted child could be for that type of meeting. I was finally able to find my birth mother when I was 22 and meeting her answered a lot of questions that I had. Of course, it also opened a kind of Pandora's box that could never again be sealed, but it hasn't been all bad. I was able to thank her for giving me up for adoption and that was my real goal. I was saddened to learn that she didn't feel that she did this for me, but rather out of selfishness, but I still think she did it for me, too--whether she can admit that or not--so that I could have a better life and I am so grateful for that. I also got to see her face and experience a little bit of her personality and yes, I got some of my looks and some of my personality from her. Meeting her was like finding that last puzzle piece that you need to complete the picture.

I don't know what the likelihood is that Kayla will ever have the opportunity to meet her birth mother, if she wants to. So, I realize that I may be the only link between my daughter and her birth mother and I want to make sure that I thank her birth mother for the sacrifice that she is making. I also want to make sure that I ask her some questions that I think Kayla will want answers to. Whether or not she answers is up to her, but at least I will be able to honestly tell my daughter that I tried. I also want photos of her birth mother, so that Kayla can see her face one day and know who it is that she looks like. If you've never had to wonder, you have no idea how much that can matter to a child.

I hope that her birth mother leaves our meeting with a feeling of peace that her baby girl will be loved and cherished by Chris and me. There are many other things that I hope for this meeting, but I don't even know how to put them into words, so I'll leave it at this for now.

Tomorrow, I'm tackling that drawer full of clothes, some with price tags still on, that I've been avoiding for a long time. I am not real sure what size she'll be in, especially since we don't really know when we're going, but I have a variety, so I need to get it washed and figure out what I want to take with us.

Did you catch that we could be leaving in as little as 29 days?!? Pray with us for that, please! We want our baby home.

Reily's Birthday

2010-11-07T17:47:00.000-06:00

Reily is four!We don't always get to have a birthday party on a birthday, but we always take the birthday boy to McDonald's for a Happy Meal.

This is the "nurse kit" that Reily got for his birthday. Now he can be just like daddy.

Because it was Kacey's birthday too, we had a joint party this weekend. The kids loved it. There was lots of noise!

It was a fun weekend.

Sunday Project

2010-11-07T17:42:00.000-06:00

I was feeling a bit crafty today so I made these. Well, I actually made the signs for the boys a couple of years ago, but Reily had colored all over them with a permanent marker at some point so I just fixed those, but Kayla's is new. The most fun was mixing colors--all I have is white, red, yellow and blue, so I really had to mix colors to make something more girly.Kayla's has three ribbons hanging from it for all of her hair bows. There are 54 of them. Yes, I realize that having this many hair bows for a child who is not living with me may seem a bit extreme, but shopping for her has helped me keep my sanity in her 7+ month absence, so I'm okay with it. Unfortunately, you can't even see the cute ribbons hanging down. Maybe I'll have to add a couple more! Good thing she finally grew some hair.

Exciting news!!!

2010-11-05T15:18:00.000-05:00

Well, it's still Reily's birthday, but he's napping, so I don't feel too badly for hijacking his exciting day to bring you this news...

Our agency has finally started giving families dates to return to Ethiopia to get their kiddos AND it's not taking as long as they first predicted for many of those families. This means that 12/14 and 12/28 are still good possibilities for us to return to Ethiopia to bring our baby girl home.

HUGE congrats to my friends who are leaving to pick up their babes in just 19 days!!!

Please pray with us for 12/14. It means that she would be home for Christmas AND that we wouldn't have to ditch Gavin and Reily over Christmas. Of course, we'll be happy to go 12/28 if that's the date we get, but 12/14 would be so much nicer. Oh, this would just be a Christmas miracle. This mommy is excited right now! We'd be leaving in like one month and 3 days. That would be amazing.

Happy birthday, Reily!!!

2010-11-05T07:01:00.000-05:00

My baby boy is 4 today. This child was a total surprise to us, but I can't imagine my life without him in it. He is, without a doubt, the most loving person I have ever met. Sometimes he is so overwhelmed by the love that he feels that he'll sort of charge at someone and practically knock them over. His hugs are fierce and his kisses are precious. He offers forgiveness very freely and never holds a grudge. His mind works in such a unique way--he can explain how anything works and it almost always makes sense. He constantly amazes me and I am so lucky to be his mommy.

Happy birthday, Reily. I love you!

It's also cousin Kacey's birthday. These two little cousins were born on the same day, just hours apart. It was a total coincidence since they were due weeks apart, but we always make sure to get together around their birthdays and celebrate. We're looking forward to their visit this weekend. Happy birthday, Kacey.

Still waiting

2010-11-04T15:13:00.000-05:00

Well, we will be waiting for a very long time, so that's not really a news flash! We're a little over 1 week into an 8-12 week wait. We're pretty much planning to have our baby girl home sometime in January. In the meantime, I'm doing my very best to remain positive and optimistic about life. There are so many things to be grateful for that it hasn't been too hard to be content while we wait. Ask me again in 5 weeks, but so far, so good.

I do have to say that I am so grateful that we have two kiddos at home already. They keep us very busy and offer so much love that I don't really feel like I'm missing anything. This wait without my boys would probably kill me and my heart does ache for my friends who are waiting to return to Ethiopia to pick up their only child.

I am also thankful that we're in the holiday season. Reily's birthday is tomorrow (he'll be 4!!!), then Thanksgiving and Christmas. There will certainly be enough going on in between all of that to keep us busy and focused on our present life rather than on what/who we don't have. Sure, I wish she was just home already to experience all of this with us, but there's nothing I can do to get her here sooner, so I might as well just enjoy life in the wait. And, I am. How could I not enjoy life with these two beautiful boys calling me "mommy" and hugging me all day long?

Waiting

2010-11-01T19:05:00.000-05:00

So, I'm pretty much the most impatient person I know. So many people have commented on how patient I've been through this whole grueling adoption process. I just think to myself--if they only knew!

One week ago today, I finally met my baby girl--after nearly 7 months of waiting. One week ago tomorrow, I left her behind in Ethiopia. One stinking week and I miss her like crazy. I have to wait another 9-13 (at least) to bring her home. I know that doesn't sound like a long time to most of you, but it feels like an eternity to me right now. Especially because we really have no guarantee that she'll be home in that time frame even. Additionally, we will have, at most, 2 weeks notice to make the trip to bring her home. This means, we pretty much just have to sit around waiting for that email telling us to get ready and go. Not being able to plan life because you have to stay focused on this one thing certainly doesn't help keep your mind off of it!

So far, I'd say I'm doing fairly well with the wait, but it's fresh. Ask me again around week 5 when I still haven't heard anything about going back. I'm sure my patience will be well worn by then, even if I don't show it to most people.

Best Husband Ever

2010-10-31T18:59:00.000-05:00

So, I just feel the need to say that I have the best husband ever. No, he didn't do anything particularly sweet or wonderful today, I just think he's wonderful. God knew what he was doing when He made sure we met. I don't always feel this way because he's a man and I'm a woman and we just operate differently, but on all the big stuff (and most of the little stuff) I sure did luck out and I don't say it often enough.

As we were walking into the airport to fly to Ethiopia to adopt our daughter my mom said to Chris, "I'll bet you had no idea what you were getting into when you married into this family." I didn't hear her, but said something very similar to him a few hours later. I'm a crazy adventurous person and I never sit still for very long. I always have some huge change that I'm planning and have lived and extra-ordinary life. Chris is always along for the ride, and happy to be. It's been one heck of a ride and we're no where near done. The best part is that he not only supports me in what I'm passionate about, but he gets to the point where he's passionate about it, too. He always says he loves my dreams and is glad to be a part of them, but that he would have no idea how to accomplish them with out me driving it.

I love this man. I am glad that he is mine. Without his support and his keeping my feet partially on Earth, I don't know that I'd be able to accomplish 1/2 of what I have. He is a good match for me (and a wonderful daddy!). I have the best husband ever, at least for me.

Kayla's Legs

2010-10-29T05:59:00.000-05:00

While we were in Ethiopia, we met with our daughter's pediatrician to discuss any questions we might have about her health. The meeting was filled with good news and some not so good news. Kayla's heart issue is not longer an issue (praise God!). She is making progress in many areas, though she is still fairly far behind. Her legs, however, are the major issue--one that we were not aware of. She doesn't use them at all--at 11.5 months old. She would not bear weight on them for us or for the pediatrician at all. He said that they were concerned about this and that they had run tests to see if her muscles were developing properly or not. They are, she just prefers not to use them. This is likely due to lack of stimulation, but at this age, it's not okay. We asked what they would do about it and they mentioned physical therapy, but neither Chris nor I really got the impression that there would be much follow through there.

That night, I laid in bed and just prayed for a miracle. I prayed that she would walk the next day (why not?), but that if that wasn't God's will, that we would see some improvement in her legs the next day. Well, when we got to the care center (legally her parents), she did not come running to me :)! However, when I laid her on the floor and played with her legs, she loved it--we even got some giggles. When I would stop, she would forcefully shove her feet back in my face--this means that she was using those little legs! We got her to bear about 50% of her weight on her legs and she didn't mind at all. Just playing with her for 20 minutes produced these results, so we had hope. Then, the nurse came to see if we had any questions and Chris asked about the physical therapy and she told us that they had already set up an appointment for Kayla for that afternoon! Talk about an answer to prayer. Whew! Coming home knowing that she will not just be getting worse, but actually receiving help for her major problem made leaving much easier.

This is one amazing little girl and while she has some major hurdles to overcome, we truly believe that God has placed her with the right family to help with this and we have very high hopes for her future. We got her referral out of turn and I know it was because we were open to her health concerns. Those issues are resolved and now we have new issues, but nothing that makes us question her place in this world as our daughter. I can't wait to get her home!

SHE IS OURS!!!

2010-10-27T15:48:00.000-05:00

Well, we just returned from our first trip to Ethiopia and I am so happy to report that we heard those three magic words from the judge. She is ours and we are hers. It was an amazing trip for so many reasons. I will get into all of them in the days to come, but for now, just a quick update. And, since we are not supposed to post photos of her yet, I'll just give a few teasers.

Sunday was a free day. We hired a driver and toured the capital--Addis Ababa. We visited some tourist attractions and did some shopping. It was fun to get out and experience some of the city.

(At a great coffee shop in Addis)

Monday, we attended orientation and then met Kayla. We got to spend about 2 hours with her before her nap time when we had to leave. She is everything I imagined her to be and so much more. I was in love before, but now it is so much more real. I miss her already! We also met with our lawyer to review how court would go in the morning and then headed to the Care Center for another couple of hours with Kayla and a meeting with the pediatrician about her health. There were some surprises in that meeting--some good and some not so good. I'll get more into that later, too.

(The fingers we just fell in love with)(and the toes!)

Tuesday, we went to court and answered a few simple questions. The judge was very kind and this was a wonderful experience. The last question had to do with whether or not we understood that the adoption was irrevocable. Yes, we understand and we're glad that works both ways! Her final words to us were, "She is yours". And, she is. Ours.

(That's my girl--irrevocably.)

Leaving

2010-10-21T13:30:00.001-05:00

Well, we are leaving tomorrow. The day has FINALLY almost arrived. Final packing and cleaning will take place tonight and then we're off. My mom and dad will stay at our house with our boys for the six days that we are gone. This morning, Reily told me that he is really excited about getting Kayla. I don't think he quite understands the purpose of this trip. I'm afraid he'll be a little disappointed when we come home without her (me too).

Here's a rough break down of our schedule and I've added the Ethiopian date and time to the top of our page so you can figure out what all these times mean back here.

Friday, depart at 3pm. Switch planes in Minneapolis and Amsterdam. Arrive in Addis Ababa at 9pm (their time = 1 pm here, Saturday).
Sunday is a free day for us. The care center is closed, so we will not be meeting Kayla. We hope to soak in as much of the culture as possible and do some shopping and site seeing.
Monday morning (midnight-ish Sunday here) we have orientation and then we get to meet our baby girl. We are slated to have only 2 hours with her. We will then meet with her pediatrician to ask any questions we might have about her health. I don't know what the rest of that day holds.
Tuesday morning (again, midnight-ish here) we will be preparing to head to court to stand before a judge and declare our intentions to adopt this baby. Then, we go to say goodbye to her (maybe a 30 minute visit) and then we're pretty much done and just wait until 11pm for our departing flight.
Wednesday, we arrive back in WI around 1pm.

Please keep these things on your prayer list for the next 6 days:

Safe travels & good health
Our boys
My parents as they take care of our boys
Kayla
Court proceedings and for favor with the judge

We can't even begin to describe the emotions that surround this trip. At times there is great excitement, at other times complete dread. Most of the time, it's somewhere in between. We feel so blessed to be following God's leading in this direction, but it is a hard road to travel. I am weary and my heart is aching and will ache even more in the coming months as we wait to bring this beautiful little girl home.

As we get ready to leave, I want to leave you with a few cute pictures of my kiddos. I sure do love these boys and I will miss their sweet faces and all their loving while I'm gone!

Thanks for all your support!

Apple orchard

Pumpkin Patch in Rice Lake with some friends

Chris, Gavin, Reily and our buddy, Hunter

Our old dog, Max--yep, he has 3 legs now--it was good to see him

Reily, just being Reily

Some photos I included in our little album for Kayla

The big brothers

Guess what?

2010-10-20T13:12:00.000-05:00

We leave in two days. I'm so ready. Friday can just not come soon enough. Stinks that we have to wait around until 3 pm to take off. Friday is just going to DRAG on and on and on until we're on that plane. But, we've waited this long. What's another few hours?

THREE!

2010-10-19T13:22:00.000-05:00

We leave in three days and I'm working on that to-do list like a maniac. Last night, I typed, organized and printed tons of information that we need to take with us and leave for my mom (who is caring for our kids). I also sent the new photos of our girl to be developed--not that this has anything to do with our leaving, but I want them! Tonight, I'm making the dreaded Wal-mart run for a few necessities and groceries for the kids while we're gone. Thank goodness my mom offered to watch the boys while I do this. Tomorrow, I guess I'll knock out the rest of it. Thursday we'll finish packing and then Friday...we're off!

I have never been to Africa. I have always wanted to go. I have been to many other places and experienced many wonderful and heart breaking things, but never in Africa. I am expecting this experience to be one that I cannot put into words. My heart already longs for a country I have never visited and it's not just because my little girl is there. I read stories of other adoptive parents who have visited this country and have seen their photos and I am excited to take in this new country--the sounds, the culture and the people (not so much the smells probably). Chris and I have a strong desire to go into foreign missions in the coming years and the further we get into this process, the more I feel a tugging on my heart towards Africa. I don't know what the long-term future holds for us, but I do know that this girl is excited to see what she's been missin' all these years. My heart is ready for this experience--both Africa and my girl.

New pictures!!!

2010-10-18T15:57:00.000-05:00

We just got a DVD of Kayla a week and a half ago. I figured that would be it for updates before we got there--even though we were due for new photos and a medical/health/developmental update. Then, a friend of mine who is traveling with us in four days to meet her son told me that she got an update and photos. I just decided to check email to see if we had also gotten an update for some reason. We did! I have 5 new photos (wish I could share them) and a new report. She's doing pretty well and has even more hair than she did in the video. She's so beautiful with the biggest dark brown eyes. I just can't wait to pick her up and squeeze her in a few days.

4

2010-10-18T14:56:00.001-05:00

Leaving in four days. Everything is pretty much packed. Chris is off Thursday night, so we can finish then. For the next 3 days, it's just taking care of the details. There are LOTS of details. Somehow, I'm managing to get my job done on top of it all, but I'm not sure how. My brain is just not in it. Thank goodness Chris takes care of most of the housework. There's no way I have the energy to do that this week. I just want to go already! In one week, I will be able to say that I have met my daughter, held her, seen for myself how beautiful and wonderful she is. Here's hoping I can add healthy to that list.